Ahhhh, being a couple. Overrated and overdone here !

Being a couple obviously has it's ups and downs. If you go out for a nice dinner date, or something of that nature , you might be considerate and wear some clothes that help compliment your partner. You would like to match, not clash. Case in point, back in America, you show up to pick up your date, she is all made up and  wearing a lovely little number with those hot pumps you love so much. You are wearing a grease stained t-shirt and Levi's with holes in them. Oh yeah, and a pair of your best flip-flops.<----I know guys, "what's wrong with that ?" However, she might feel a tad upset and feel the two of you clash.

Well in Asia, I have plenty of "matching couples." But not in any other country like Korea. If you're lucky, you just see them wearing the same shirts. But for many, that is not enough, they go full on with shirt, pants, shoes and even purses. Yep Korean men like to carry around purses ( man-bags, man-purses,murses,man-sack...whatever you call it, it's still a purse.)

Notice how nice and loud they are also---------------------->

Unfortunately they missed out on the shoes. A minor faux pau in the fact that while they are both wearing chinos, they are not the same.

Getting around in Thailand

Actually I want to talk about 4 movies I watched this weekend. Since this blog is "The Asian Way" I guess I should start with something relevant though.

So, the most common form of transportation in Thailand is the motorcycle. Now this is not a true motorcycle as we know it, it is more of a cross-breed between a motorcycle and a moped. You can do up to about 60mph on these give or take depending on what size the engine is. 

Family of 5 , not one helmet !



The main difference being that while in the US, these could hold two people, in Thailand they are used to hold families of up to 5. They also use them to carry huge amounts of cargo.

   

Well at least the man has a helmet !

 Some of this may account for the high accident rate involving motorcycles in Thailand...I could be wrong though. Maybe it's the mass amounts of Lao Lao (homemade whiskey - moonshine !) While I see these all the time in Thailand , and yes I think it's funny, I can't imagine life without them. I know Karma is gonna be on my ass for that one !  Laila even lost her brother in a motorcycle accident. And I still can't help but laugh. Turns out he was driving his cycle up the winding mountain roads, but he was a bit distracted. He was carrying a very uncooperative, live pig in his arms at the time. He went wide around a corner as the pig squirmed and he swerved right into an oncoming truck. I know, I'm sick.



The bus to Krabi

Anyways, you can always take the usually slow, often smelly train to get to places also. For long hauls, I usually fly. It is very cheap to fly within Thailand. On occasion I will take a V.I.P bus for a change of pace. They have nice wide seats that recline and have a foot rest that comes up..Kinda like a lazy boy. 

Oh yeah, If you live in Bangkok, you also have the Sky train and the subway around the city.

OH SHIT ! I forgot tuk tuks ! Man, these are an exciting, white knuckle, breathe in the exhaust fumes ride !  These are normally meant for two passengers or one fat guy like me. The pic above has six Thais in it ! Anything to save a satang or two !

Ok and finally, I watched 4 movies this weekend : She's out of my League, Machete, Knight and Day and Jonah Hex.  Outta my League was mildly entertaining, same old tired plot, However, there were a couple of scenes that had me laughing my ass off. Because of those scenes, and the fact that Alice Eve is spakin' hot. B-, Then I watched Machete A+ . Made like the old 70's style action flicks. A GREAT role for Danny Trejo. The movie also has other notables such as Cheech Marin, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, and Don Johnson. I loved it in the same way as Raising Arizona. A lot of dark humor, and some slap-stick in the way of a machete. So I pressed my luck and watched Jonah Hex next. It was terrible ! The one bright spot, Megan Fox of course ! This one got a D-, would have been an F if Fox wasn't in it. Oh, one other thing, I find it amazing how much Josh and James Brolin look alike....Actually I think both their acting careers are in the shitter too.   Finally, I watched Knight and Day, figured it couldn't be worse than Jonah Hex and this did have Cameron Diaz in it ! And some other guy, Tom something or another. Anyways, this movie made Jonah Hex look good. How many times can we take watching Mission Impossible ? Oh, wait, it wasn't Mission Impossible, it was just another movie where Cruise plays a super spy. Sorry Cameron, even you couldn't save this tired ass movie F-. Waste of free download space !

CYA ! 

테리

Terry's checklist for women

This should be plain and simple and the opinions expressed herein are expressly those of the blogger (ME !! ) and if you don't like 'em piss off !

#1 Is she American ? If so, scratch her from the list. Doesn't matter if she is Asian American, African-American or any other ______-American, fill in the blank. She has been Americanized, Therefore deemed unworthy.One caveat, if you're American, and we know each other, you are excluded....Shirley, Renee and so on, haha !

#2 Dude, Asian chicks are hot. I will explain the varying degree of hotness within the Asian race to follow:

• Korean babes. While they are very sexy (Koreans are the tallest of Asians on average) if you hang around a Korean noodle slurper for just a very short time, she will inevitably snort her nose, clear the throat, and spit out a gross old lung cookie for ya. Who knows, maybe some of you dig on that, personally, it makes me want to whack her in the back of the head and say "show some manners babe !" Koreans are a enigma to me. They wear very mini-mini skirts or "daisy-dukes"with 4-6" heels showing off their nice sexy long legs quite well. At the same time, they make sure not to show any cleavage. Not that there are a ton of Asians with massive cleavage to show off.
• Thai babes.Wow, just WOW ! Of course I am obliged to say that as I married one. But damn, I would say it anyways. Truth be told, my first year in Korea, my boss suggested I travel to Thailand for vacation. I decided OK, but was less than thrilled with the idea. My exposure to Thailand prior to the trip was mainly through the Discovery Channel and National Geographic. You know, they always show the old,dirty working farmers and so on. So when I actually arrived in Bangkok, I was very pleasantly surprised ! Bangkok is definitely not the country ! I was surrounded everywhere by these small little beautiful women ! Now , while a Thai woman will give you 100% and take care of you like a king, you do have certain responsibilities that come along with the job. #1 you are expected to provide for her and her family. Mother and father, brothers and sisters and any children. This is a recurring theme throughout SE Asia, they are a 3rd world country after all. But taking care of them is pretty cheap, so don't sweat it.
• Japanese chicks. While the nips are very hot and forward thinking. Many tend to shy away from foreigners. And the ones that don't are great. The main problem with Japanese women is the Japanese men. Both Korean and Japanese men have perfected the term (and excuse the hell out of me if you have virgin ears) the term "cock-blocking." Now they have kind of the same thing going as Americans where as a woman who has a lot of sex is a slut and and man is a stud. They think the same thing and in addition to that they have made an addition. A woman who has sex with a foreigner is tainted goods. It's cool for the men to date foreign women and marry them even, but the reverse is a no-no. So back to the cock-blocking, I have seen American men talking with Korean or Japanese women and have a man (Korean or Japanese) come walking over and just grab the girl by the arm and take her away. I have found out that much of this stems from stereotyping. Most all Asians believe most all Americans are rich. The apparently all believe all American men are hung like John Holmes and that they, themselves are hung like a Virginia Slim- minus the filter. Therefore, after being with any American, they could never be satisfied by an Asian again......Wow, I just said all that and I am still going to blog it for the world to see !  HAHA ! As if you didn't already know !
• Chinese won tons. Well, Chinese chicks are hot also. And the women are receptive to foreign diplomacy even if their government is not. The biggest obstacle here is the language barrier. Finding the nice girl with the smokin' hot bod and speaking English is the tri-fecta. You can lay some money down on it, but just don't blow your whole wad. Many are now learning English and are eager to practice it. But there just isn't enough English speakers in a country with over 1.3 billion people.

Okay..got the basics, now just a few more rules of the road. If any Asian chick is coming on to you pretty strong.....time for a crotch check..Make sure it isn't a dude you've been kissing on all night.

Quick related story...I know a guy, fell in love with a Thai, they had been dating for 6 months....She would stay the night and they would do almost everything but intercourse. She was saving herself for marriage . (yeah right !) He met her family, they were all happy for them and he decided to ask her to marry him. He went to the local county clerk to get some papers and also decided to do a quick check on his soon to be wife. He slipped the clerk some extra cash and she said she couldn't find any records of her. So he gave her birthday and address. The clerk told him that there was someone at that address and with that birthday, but it was a guy, not a girl. So the short of it, He found out his wife to be was a guy and broke it off.

Be wary of cleanliness. Many Thais like my wife will often shower 3-5 times a day ! No shit ! Korean women on the other hand will shower 3-5 times a week. Also Koreans will often wear the same clothes 3-4 days in row !

And one more item that  is off topic... I finally figured out why many people refer to Asians as gooks ! It's the Korean's fault ! during the Korean war, Koreans would approach American and say Migook. Migookan means America and Migook means American. So the GI's  would hear a Korean saying "Migook ?" but what they thought they actually heard was them say " Me Gook" and they would say ok, so you're a Gook. Well the term stuck and carried on through the Vietnam war and now because of the Korean name for American, ALL Asians are often called Gooks ! There's your history lesson ! Now next time you try to racially slur an Asian, please reserve Gook for Koreans only !

Thailand Etiquette

 Well, I am bored, so I thought I would give a quick lesson on the does and do nots of Thailand.  Now this is mainly for the country, not the Bangkok. Bangkok is a little more progressive in their ways, however there a certainly some of these customs that still apply none the less.

Naturally ( for me ) we'll start off with sexuality. Thais' are much more conservative than Westerners. While holding hands is acceptable in public, everything else is pretty much not accepted. Kissing, no way, hugging is frowned on...I hugged Chalisa, my step-daughter, goodbye last time I left and she was in shock ! You wai ( palms together in the middle of your chest) to someone hello or goodbye. So in general, any physical intimacies  are looked down on. So if you were planning a little sex in public, forget it !



Yes it's a dude !




Speaking about sex, there are quite a few transvestites in Thailand. They are known as Katooeys or ladyboys. Many of them are more beautiful than some of the women ! It is rude to call a ladyboy a "him" or "it", they should always be considered a female and addressed as such. This tolerance to ladyboys comes from their Buddist beliefs (95% of Thailand are practicing Buddhist.)



Aerosmith must have came to Thailand to get
the inspiration for "dude looks like a lady"



Ladyboys are believed to be reincarnations of people who were not so good in their previous life. So their punishment is to be a woman trapped in a mans body.

Back to the wai, you should never wai to anyone younger than yourself, service people, like waitresses, clerks ,cashiers etc. You should only be giving wais to your elders, monks and royalty. Oh yeah, and the immigration guys ! Also as far as elders,monks or royalty go, you should NEVER stand over them. If you go to a temple and a monk is seated, when you approach him you should be bent over or lower than him. If you stand taller than these people it is showing superiority.

Another easy one to remember is not to touch a Thais' head. The head is the the most holy part of the body and contains the "Kwan" it's a Buddhist thing. In contrast, the feet are the lowest and dirtiest part of the body. Never point your feet at a Thai. It is very rude. If you were to point your foot at someones head, that would be the biggest insult there is ! You will see most Thais' sit with their feet under them. This way their feet are pointing behind them and not towards the person they are talking with. You also must take off your shoes when entering a temple or someones house.

Man reading back though this, it's pretty boring and dry. I've got a bunch more I could go on about...Like NEVER hang underwear  or bras up high and always eat with your right hand, but never lick your fingers. Blah blah blah.

I will just wait and see if you like this from the comments. If you don't, then it's a finished blog. If you want more of it, just let me know.

Sawadee Krup !

Well let's talk about parking here



No not a drunk driver, just an open space to park !



Now aside from the majority of most Asians being crazy drivers, Koreans have a few extra special qualities in connection with theirs cars. Keep in mind that the entire state of Oregon has about 4 million people and if every single man, woman and child had a car that would be 4 million cars..Duh ! Well Korea is less than half the size of Oregon yet has a population of around 50 million people ! As for cars, there are well over an estimated 20 million ! This creates a bit of havoc not to mention a lack of parking spaces. So Koreans view a sidewalk as an extra parking space. These pics are just a few of the examples on a good day.



There is ACTUALLY room for pedestrians to walk here !



Often times the sidewalk is much narrower and the the car takes up the entire sidewalk, so you are forced to walk in the street. I always wind up with some driver behind me honking because I am street walking ( yup I said it, I'm a streetwalker ! ) I just put my hand up behind my back and give them the finger. It's quite the universal sign ! They stop honking and I move in between 2 parked cars and they drive by.



Street corners and intersections are favorites !


Now one thing of note, that I have yet to see in any Asian country other than Korea, is that fact that in their windshields they put their cellphone numbers. The reason is so they can be called if they need to move their car. So, in America, would you be willing to post your personal cell phone # in your vehicle windshield ?? I think not !
Here and in Thailand, when you double park, you always lock your car, but you leave it in neutral with the E brake off. This way someone can push your car out of the way so they can get their car out. More so in Thailand than here.

Well I think I will try my best to make my next entry more of a rave than a rant ! Gonna be tough though. Maybe I will go find a pair of rose tinted glasses to wear for the day.

The exciting weekend

Well I was determined to get out of the apartment this weekend and do something. I decided to make my way towards Seoul to a place in Yoengdeundpo called Times Square. Believe me, it is nothing at all like the Big Apple ! It took me 1 hour on the subway to get there. And once I arrived, I immediately proceeded to get lost. Of course  being 100% man, I never truly get lost, I merely take the scenic route ! Well after an hour on the "scenic route," I decided I should ask someone. " AHA ! There is a tourist information booth !"  I stroll up to the counter and ask one of the ladies there " Do you know where Times Square is " and what a shocker, She replies" Me no speeky Englishee." I look at the other 3 ladies standing there and ask if ANYONE speak a little English. Of course the answer is no. I guess for a few minutes I was out of my head and forgot I was in Korea. I made the fatal assumption that a tourist information booth would speak some English. Although the sign was written in English, it is meant for Korean tourist....Pffft
I eventually found the place on my own. By now I was so tired, I just wanted to eat and go home. I at some really good Mexican food at On The Border. Then I went to Quiznos and got 2 foot long sandwiches to go (lunch and dinner for the next day ! ) And then I stopped in at Krispy Kreme for some definitely unneeded calories. Then I lugged my food with me back to the subway, which was no jam packed. I truly know how sardines feel. I had to stand there for another hour back and then a 20 minute walk back to the apartment. All told, I left at 2pm and got back at 7:30pm. 5 1/2 hours for lunch.
I think I need to buy a small notepad and pen and always take my camera with me when I go out. There are a lot of other things that happened, but I don't remember now.
I am trying this out in a bigger font, let me know if bigger is better !

Eating or in my case not eating in Korea

Well, food has been quite a challenge for me here. I've always been a basic steak and potatoes kind of guy. A kimchi warrior I am not ! For hose of you not familiar with kimchi, it is cabbage leaves that are fermented in a brine of god knows what. Actually I think it consists of fermented anchovy or shrimp along with red chili paste. These set outside in big vases until it reaches just the right rottenness, umm fermentation. Oh man, and the stuff leaves a nasty smell ! They actually sell special kimchi refrigerators here. The odor of the kimchi will actually permeate into your other foods if it is not sealed well. And that is not the only thing it permeates into ! A nice  bus full of Koreans can actually leave your nose burning ! The one saving grace there is that since I am a foreigner, none of them sit next to me. They eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is just no escaping it. Laila loves it also, therefore it is at the house too. I do make her buy single serving packs and whatever she doesn't finish goes out the door into the trash bin.

Now aside from that, I don't eat any seafood. This puts me at another huge disadvantage in not just Korea, but all of Asia ! I will eat shrimp tempura, but that is the extent of my foray into ocean's bounty. When we go to Thailand, Laila and her friends love to get these fish that are broiled whole and served that way, and they fight over who gets the eyes and brains of it !

So I am left with basically pork and chicken. Even though there are plenty of McDonalds around.....

I still can't stand the burgers. Mainly because it is not American beef. American beef is banned in Korea because they are afraid they will get mad-cow disease (No joke.)

I have had some good BBQ beef though, but it is as expensive as hell ! I usually eat Dwaeji galbi, or in English, pork ribs. This stuff is awesome.

You cook the meat yourself at a grill in the middle of your table. This is good if you are quicker than the waitresses. I like a nice little char on mine. If they come over and see any black on the meat, they will pick it up and either toss it aside or cut the black off. "No good, give you cancer ! " as they light up they're Marlboro. Also, the words cross contamination mean nothing here. You have your plate of raw pork, and then you have some of it that is cooking. They grab the raw pork with the tongs and then the meat that is finished cooking with the same tongs and put it on your plate or the cooler part of the BBQ. YO ! Not cool !

For now, the last thing I would like to mention about eating in Korea, You need a strong stomach. Not necessarily for the food, but rather the lack of western manners here. Not that they're to blame, after all I'm the one who is supposed to adapt.  Eating with your mouth open, talking with a mouthful of food, smoking with food in your mouth, belching and farting in the restaurant. Sorry, but after 5 years I still can't "adapt" to that.

On the plus side of things, there are Outback Steakhouses', Bennigans' , TGI Fridays' and I just found a very good Mexican restaurant called On The Border, which is about 45 minutes away via subway.