Well, it's Christmas Eve, so time to make a naughty or nice list. Unlike Santa, I'm only going to check it once, and I don't really care which side you are on because as we all know, being naughty can sometimes be nice.
You may or may not see your name on here. If you do see it, too bad for you. If you don't, nothing personal, I just could think of a reason to post with your name.
Naughty
1. Kim Jeong Il....Obvious choice. Dude looks like a cartoon and is hellbent on taking over the world.
Nice
1. My ex-wife Shirley Hislop Livingston Morgan Cockrell. She makes the list for not only being a great mother to my son, but for also being my best friend (whether or not she likes that part.)And being just an all around cool chick with a nice rack.
2. I guess since I said my ex-wife Shirley, I would be an idiot not to put my current wife's name here. Vilasinee Laila Singkam, What she lacks in English skill ( which is not much) she MORE than makes up for with Love. She is sweet and caring and it only took me 3 marriages to get here, but I AM here now.
Naughty
1. I will keep the ball rolling here and the next spot goes to my ex-wife #2. Time to clean out the closet I suppose. She was a psycho bitch, is a psycho bitch and will always be a psycho bitch....and that's sugar coating it !! For crying out loud, Within 3 months of our divorce being final, she was re-married and pregnant. All this while I was overseas, hmmmm. Naughty is a nice word.Evil, Trampy, or Twisted would have been better :)
2. My brother Jerry Calvin Morgan. The guy is a self-absorbed,greedy,inconsiderate little bitch. OK, 'nuff said :)
Nice
1. Barbie Lewman Santana. Definitely one of the most positive caring people I have ever met. Didn't reconnect with her from high school until now on FB. She ALWAYS has positive and genuine post to me. Barbie you're great and make the double good extra nice list !
Naughty
1.Renee King Jones Dittmer..Simply because you don't write me enough ! Yup, you can slip from good to bad, just that easily ! LOL This is simply fixed though BY WRITING TO ME ! Get on it ! Christmas is still a day away, you have time to swap lists ! mmmuuuaaahh
Nice
1 Craig Beam. Even though he sullied my sister's good name by marrying her. Wait, she didn't have a good name to sully. Craig is a lush and a way cool dude,a Star Wars geek and has a raging hard-on for Rod Serling. Ha hard-on and rod in the same sentence. Craig, you're a good husband, father and brother-in-law. You'll have to try harder to make the naughty list next year.
Naughty
1. Dan Vaughn...by special request, his own. I think if you want to be on the naughty list, that automatically qualifies you. Let's see, trolling the Beatles, not good. But then again, burning a chicks bra scores a point for the good side. Being way cooler now than in high school..point for the nice side. Uh-Oh, maybe you're on the wrong list....Wait, I've never seen you post anything about Asian chicks being WAYYYY hotter than Western broads ( yep I proudly use chicks and broads ! ) You lose and have earned your spot on the naughty list !
Nice
1 Anthony Bourdain...You just don't get any cooler than this dude. Brutal honesty is awesome
2 Beyonce Knowles....She could come to my place, shit all over the floor, torch my car, say how fat and ugly I am and still not make the naughty list ! She is a godess. The personality, the acting, the voice. I know she must have some Asian in her somewhere !!
3.Kanjana Gawboonruang..my best friend in WoW
4. Tiger Woods...Not only a golf stud, but a stud,stud also...All of you that pew pew him and don't like him are on my naughty list !
Naughty and Nice
This spot goes for my son. Kyle Garrett Morgan. Enough said
Naughty
The USA ! And I can say that because I'm American. You know the old saying "Love it or Leave it ." well I left it ! Sorry, but there is such a thing as too much freedom, and I suppose not many people can realize that until they've lived out of country for a signicant amount of time. Fu#*^@& Americans can just never seem to get enough ! Free speech, guns, money, politicians the economy..Everything is out of control From the ACLU to Green Peace and all you other bleeding heart bastards. You are ruining the country.
Nice
Thailand ! It is not without it's difficulties, however, I am always treated with respect and smiling faces. For the most part, cut and dry. Say bad things about the King..go to prison, bring in drugs...death penalty. Smile and treat people decently and get it back 10 fold !
Naughty
1 Everyone that uses Farmville. God forbid that I don't get on FB for a weekend. Then I caome back and I have like 100 FV request. Finally blocked FV !
2 All my Korean middle school boy students. You suck ass ! Yes there are somethings dumber than a sack of hammers ! For those of you who have never tried teaching to foreigners.....walk over to a wall, talk to it for 5 minutes and listen to the response. You might as well come here and teach.
Nice
All my Korean middle school girl students. At least at this age, girls are much more mature and willing to learn. They are "teachable." Also they love to over-inflate your ego ! Can't beat that !
Naughty
Jackie Tarantino..You know, we're not even FB friends, and I'm not even sure she is on FB or not. But on the off chance that she happens across this page.....She is a nasty, rude bitch. I've ran into her a couple times in Medford to only get the "snub." I know I should not hold a grudge...But a good grudge can really keep you going ! Jackie you're my pet grudge.
Nice
1 Every female that has T & A !!!! I've always been a breast man. Coming to Asia was a culture shock in the fact that the Big Boobie Lovers Club doesn't exist...Apparently the Itty Bitty Titty Committee won out here. Also, I was never really an "Ass man " But living in Korea, you begin to miss the things you no longer have! Very few Korean have that sweet ass factor ! The vast majority have a very flat ass ! So you truly learn to appreciate them when you see them ! Thank god Thais don't have the same problem !
2 My sister Teresa Beam. While my brother is an asshole, my sister is the best ! I don't mean best asshole either ! She always takes care of any business I need done back in the U.S. and never complains about it ( at least not to me ! ) Teresa make Craig buy you some jewelry this year instead of a beer from MacMennamins ! HAHA
3.Lisa Mandel Oliewssiewwiksky Yep, Im too lazy to look up how to spell your name even though it would take two seconds. I don't think I could say it even if it was right there in front of my face. Well, back in the beginning, you were on the naughty list. But now, as with most people (except myself) you have matured nicely. You are a true and loyal friend to Shirley and that's good enough for me to make the nice list !
OK Now for just a list of names with no reason
Nice
Sherri Moffit-Winfree , Donna Draper , Shelley Davies Mickel , Casey Gibbs, Bill Lowe and family, Julee Whaley - Baida, The Loys
Naughty
Well pretty much the rest of you for not keeping in touch LOL.
This was fun and I hope you all take it that way also !
Feliz Navidad
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Manners- Try being polite asshole !
Well I have decided that the world would be a better place if everyone adopted the same set of manners. I know, I know, you are expected to conform to the culture of the country you are in, but I think rude is rude no matter where you go.
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Shanghai
Ok, so talking with my friend Barbie, I was reminded of my trip to Shanghai. So I thought it would be appropriate here..duh !
This is a picture of me at the waterfront in the Pudong District. Behind me is their equivelent of the Space needle. Everyone is preparing for the next night which will be the beginning of the Chinese New Year.
Pretty much all of Asia celebrates Chinese New Year. For some it is just a few days off, for Chinese it is much different. I honestly can't tell you too much about it...The spirit of Chairman Mao might come to haunt me ! "Aahhhh....ancient Chinese tradition...You foreign man..you no spread our ways to the West !!" Yeah, whatever, got a fortune cookie ? Anyways, back on point, one of the main reasons for everyone setting off firecrackers and fireworks is to scare those pesky evil spirits away. C'mon now, really ? Loud noises scare away the boogeyman ? My neighbor must have ghost in his apartment cuz the assclown is ALWAYS slamming his door !
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| It's more like a controlled burn ! |
Well moving along. This was a nice trip, but not the most pleasant one. I went with my boss and some Korean co-workers and some of their friends. A big no no I have learned. Koreans are very anal about their time. Everything is planned right down to what time to have a bowel movement...Sound funny ? I'm serious on that one ! And of course they have a tourguide who only speaks Korean and Chinese. After half a day of not knowing what the hell is going on..I tell them I am jumping ship and striking out on my own. Nothing has really changed..I still don't know what the hell is going on, or where the hell I'm at....but at least I don't have to listen to someone yammering away in Korean !
 |
| I was very lost, but I managed to stumble into a few places like this |
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And this place too. It was part of a big market place. A couple of years later I saw this place again....In the Movie the Fantastic 4 haha |
 |
| And then a few stilt walkers. There are ALL kinds of festivities going on like this everywhere ! |
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| A classic example of East meets West So the food was ok. The main problem was the ordering of it. No one in the place spoke any English. I was pointing at the board behind them, trying to make them understand what I wanted. I have no idea why, but they could just not figure it out ! So me, being the nice abrasive white guy from America, walked behind their counter, and put my hand on the Quarterpounder with Cheese picture...slapped it 2 times...then showed them 2 fingers...then pointed to myself.....rinse and repeat. They finally got that I wanted two of them...and I think they were apologizing for not understanding, and then they only charged me for one, not two. Score for me ! Saved like $1 US ! Well aside from getting plenty of cheap massages that was pretty much the highlights of my trip. Taxi drivers are crazy...Thay will laugh at you if you put on your seatbelt in their car. Also most drivers are encased in a Plexiglass type window. If you're in the back seat or the front passenger seat, you can't touch them because of the barrier. You slip your money thru a little slip. Shanghai is a massively sprawled out city. I found out the hard way. Not much English anywhere, so it is difficult using public transportation. I grabbed up brochures and business cards at the hotel and would show the drivers where I wanted to go. The massages are good and cheap...but nowhere close to the quality of a Thai massage..I guess I may be too spoiled. And speaking of which, next month I will be back in Thailand enjoying the afore mentioned massages and living the easy live out of this cold snowy crap ! Hasta Luego ! T |
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
More random rants
To start with, this first random rant goes out to the movie Clerks II. They have a argument as to whether it is OK to go ass to mouth. Well here in Korea I go ass to mouth all the time ! Wait, maybe I should explain that a little better. When I ride the bus to and from work, I like to sit in a seat, not stand the whole way (go figure.) The seats on most buses sit two people, and are very close to the row in front of them, very little leg room and a tight squeeze for someone like me to get to the window. So when I get on the bus, I will see all these Koreans move over from the window to the aisle seat, presuming that I won't sit with them. I always try to keep an eye out for the first person I see that moves, then I make a bee-line for them. Of course they won't slide over to the window, so I cram past them and I always bend over a little more than is needed so my ass goes right in their face.....and I'm not talking close, I'm talking my ass actually hitting them in the face !! LOL It's a fun thing to do now ! And the coup-de-grace is when I can actually cut one loose at the same moment. PRICELESS ! Of course they don't say a single word, or even look at me for that matter. And if I get on the bus again and see the same person, they tend to either move to the window or stand up. Ahhhh, sometimes it truly pays to be rude.
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
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