It's all about the kids.

Well some things are difficult to get accustomed to. But many things are easy to get desensitised to. Back in the US everything is about being politically correct , Asia is more along the lines of "politically what ?"



Very common to see Asians wearing shirts like these. They have no idea what it says, it's just English.



Here is just a short list of what I hear from students in class everyday. If a kid is overweight, even just slightly, the students all say" He's a pig" or " he's a fatboy." If a student has a darker complexion " he's black, he's negro" or "he's country boy."  When a student is not so smart....well I should say when a student is dumber than the other dummies they say " he's stupid" or " he handicap boy."  And then there are the stupidest kids of all, the athletes. No GPA stuff here for student athletes. They are basically recruited in middle school to attend the best High Schools and then best Universities from there. Most of them only attend 1/2 days of school and leave to go practice the other half. I swear to God that these kids actually try to not learn anything. Anyways, when I ask a question to an athlete, the students all say " he baseball player" or wrestler or soccer or whatever sport and the athlete just sits and stares at me like I am from Mars.

I remember asking my co-teacher why they all call the fat kids piggy and so on. The teachers response was"because he is fat ! Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up for me, I wasn't sure. For the first 2 years at this school, we had a mentally retarded boy...all the students would tell me he stupid, he handicap boy. Now, the students being called these names are used to it. It is blatant and continuous from Kindergarten through University level. They don't take it as an insult, it is just a mater of fact. But the kids that they call country boys or black, get very upset. Being a country boy....this means that your skin is dark because you are poor, you have had to work on the farm picking rice or whatever. Your family is poor and you are stupid. That is not only Koreans, but true for most all of Asia. They truly treasure white skin. They think we are nuts for laying in the sun or doing the fake and bake thing.

Girls here are much smarter than boys of equal age. For the most part, they hit puberty sooner and start maturing quicker. I don't think some of these boys actually hit puberty until about 25 or so ! When I taught at an all girls school, it was much nicer. They did their homework, they spoke English better and their grades mattered to them. Boys simply don't give a shit. For the most part, they are all polite to me - the bows and good morning sir or hello Terry teacher. But there are always the trouble makers.



My first job in Korea was in a small town. I used to walk by these high school kids almost everyday. They would inevitably say something derogatory and in quiet voices when I would go by. Well one day, one of them decides he has grown a pair and says loudly to me "f*ck you." I take about 1/2 a second to spin around and grab the closest kid by the shirt collar. I lifted him off his feet and against the wall and yell loudly "What the f*ck did you say ?" HAHAHA he starts crying. I drop him down and turn to the other boys......they were gone...up and vanished like a fart in the wind ! Needless to say, they NEVER said another word to me again. As a matter of fact, most times when they would see me coming, they would leave. HAHA, Lesson learned ! The ironic part was that these kids could have probably kicked my ass. Most Koreans learn Tae Kwondo at sometime. But I think that because so many know it, they all assume that everyone else knows it too. They watch too much WWE and UFC.

Another thing. Usually on the bus, when an old person or pregnant woman get on, I will stand up and give up my seat. Korean kids are supposed to do this, but they only do it if they get caught. What I mean by that is this : The bus pulls up to a bus stop, and almost in unison, you can see all their heads go down like they are asleep. This way they can ignore who is getting on the bus. Then after the bus starts moving again the miraculously wake up again, at least until the next stop. Sometimes they do get caught though. Maybe they are on their cell phone when the bus stops, maybe they are talking with their friend. And my personal favorite is when the old man will whack them on the head and tell them to move ! 

Well, that's all for now. More to follow soon

Terry

A change of pace

Well, even though I could continue to blast Korea (they are such an easy target) I think will go to Thailand today.
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could  be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a  subconsciencous  level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.

Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got  married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !

OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !

Instead of The Asian Way, maybe this should have been Diary of a Madman !

Well, today you will probably get a lot of incoherent ramblings of  a cracker in a non-cracker world. I just happen to be in one of those "special" moods where I feel like kickin' someones ass. Alas ! I still have a shred of common sense though and would rather not spend any time in a foreign country.

Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE !  As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !!  So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.

So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking  "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???

It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.

And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !"  I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.

Well, sleep on that all.
Cya

Easy reading....like a Playboy, lots of pics

Well, right now I am too tired to properly write out a blog. So I'm going to post some pics of things that continue to boggle the old noggin  here in Korea..Oh and a few from Thailand.

It's a progressively spicier menu



Is it any real wonder why I can't figure out what to eat here ?





 

 

Doesn't really make me feel that thirsty !





Please don't feed the Korean machinery !



Not only is it clean, it's BLUE !



I know you women relate to this one.and apparently so does the University





This is in Thailand, trust me, pay the extra for the VIP Room !



OK This is on a ton of cars here...I have know idea what the hell they are talking about...But then again, neither do they





So, having a little problem are we ?

So there you have it. Just a touch of what is out there. This doesn't include all the shirts I see EVERYDAY ! They have no clue what they say. They just like the color.



Go ahead and toot your horn

Now growing up in Smallville USA, the most I really heard a horn used was from a car alarm. On occasion you would have the angry driver or two blare the horn, but for the most part, the horn was for "emergency" situations i.e. children running out in front of you, a car changing lanes that doesn't see you and so on.

That being said, in Asia, the horn takes on a whole new life. If it's not a car honking at you , then it's a bus, if not that, then it's a motorcycle, if not that, then it's the dickhead on his bicycle ringing his bell at you. You can't escape the dreaded horn here.

Different countries however, use their horns for different reasons. Thailand, I have noticed, uses their horns primarily for defense. For Korea it's a strictly offensive tool. Allow me to please start with Korea since it is the most offensive. I ride the bus to and from work everyday. It is about a 10-15 minute ride. On an average day, during that short time span, you can count on the driver using his horn no less than 10 times. This is not because of all the idiot drivers around him, he uses it to scream at other drivers " Get the hell outta my way, I'm coming through !" If he feels a car is going to slow....horn, if he feels a car has not pulled enough to the left so he can illegally pass on the right....horn. If you do not start to take off from a red light BEFORE it turns green...horn....Seriously, you can be waiting for the light to turn green and 4 or 5 drivers will start honking at you because they see no traffic coming the other direction and you are not moving yet. When I take a taxi, they have one eye on the road, one eye watching their Korean soap opera on TV, one hand steering and the other resting on their horn. They are almost caressing their precious horn like it's a new found girlfriend. Another unusual habit that I have seen EVERY Korean driver do. When then stop at a red light, the car gets put into park and the Emergency brake goes on ????? They say they are saving gas that way, but by the way they actually drive, they aren't saving shit ! And anyone else who has been here has also experienced this other annoyance....Many of the older drivers..taxis, buses, private cars etc...They all push their gas pedal up and down. Say you're driving down a road with no other traffic. Your driver will be quickly "revving " his engine by tapping the gas pedal up and down. You are actually rocking back and forth when they do this.

Now Thailand....just the opposite. The horn is used a lot also, but mostly in a defensive manner. That is to say, you are approaching an intersection that you have no intention of stopping at...So you pre-emptively honk your horn in the hope that others will slow down so that you can blaze through. Unfortunately this doesn't work very often. There are tons of motorcycles there. They all have those little " beep-beep" horns. When I am driving in my truck, with the air-con blowing and my DVD blasting out some Kiss tunes...I don't hear a damn thing. I am surprised actually that I haven't killed anything aside from a cobra lazily crossing the highway. Overall, I think Thailand is a much more relaxed place to drive....Not that I would ever drive in Bangkok ! Crazy bad traffic there.  Last time we came from the airport, it took about 20 minutes to get downtown and then about 5 blocks from our hotel.... it took another 45 minutes to travel that last 5 blocks. Of course we could have walked it much faster, but we had 4 suitcases and it was pouring rain.

Then you have Hong Kong. OK, I don't know what the hell is going on there ! It is such a mix of offensive and defensive honking, that I think everyone has just tuned out the horns. You know, kinda like when the wife is talking and you are just hearing blah,blah,blah..and answer with the occasional head nod and uh-huh. Ooh, maybe that explains why I have been married 3 times also ! And totally off the subject of horns...that reminds me of why I love having a Thai wife so much ! You don't have to really listen to them..just when they pause, you say " uhh." That is a legitimate Thai answer. I can watch my TV show and just say "uhh" a couple of times and I am good to go. Of course, being American, when I talk to her and she says that to me, I will ask if she is even listening to me, at which point she prattles off whatever I just said. When she does happen to catch me and ask me what she said..I go into a deep thought "looking" mode and say " Mai Khoa Jai " Thai for I don't understand...and I chalk it up to the language barrier. I know that is only going to get me so far as she is picking up more slang from me and I am learning  more Thai. Just the other day she told me to shut my pie hole ! I was rolling on the ground laughing. She heard it from one of my movies.
Ahhh, life can be good sometimes !