Well, it's Christmas Eve, so time to make a naughty or nice list. Unlike Santa, I'm only going to check it once, and I don't really care which side you are on because as we all know, being naughty can sometimes be nice.
You may or may not see your name on here. If you do see it, too bad for you. If you don't, nothing personal, I just could think of a reason to post with your name.
Naughty
1. Kim Jeong Il....Obvious choice. Dude looks like a cartoon and is hellbent on taking over the world.
Nice
1. My ex-wife Shirley Hislop Livingston Morgan Cockrell. She makes the list for not only being a great mother to my son, but for also being my best friend (whether or not she likes that part.)And being just an all around cool chick with a nice rack.
2. I guess since I said my ex-wife Shirley, I would be an idiot not to put my current wife's name here. Vilasinee Laila Singkam, What she lacks in English skill ( which is not much) she MORE than makes up for with Love. She is sweet and caring and it only took me 3 marriages to get here, but I AM here now.
Naughty
1. I will keep the ball rolling here and the next spot goes to my ex-wife #2. Time to clean out the closet I suppose. She was a psycho bitch, is a psycho bitch and will always be a psycho bitch....and that's sugar coating it !! For crying out loud, Within 3 months of our divorce being final, she was re-married and pregnant. All this while I was overseas, hmmmm. Naughty is a nice word.Evil, Trampy, or Twisted would have been better :)
2. My brother Jerry Calvin Morgan. The guy is a self-absorbed,greedy,inconsiderate little bitch. OK, 'nuff said :)
Nice
1. Barbie Lewman Santana. Definitely one of the most positive caring people I have ever met. Didn't reconnect with her from high school until now on FB. She ALWAYS has positive and genuine post to me. Barbie you're great and make the double good extra nice list !
Naughty
1.Renee King Jones Dittmer..Simply because you don't write me enough ! Yup, you can slip from good to bad, just that easily ! LOL This is simply fixed though BY WRITING TO ME ! Get on it ! Christmas is still a day away, you have time to swap lists ! mmmuuuaaahh
Nice
1 Craig Beam. Even though he sullied my sister's good name by marrying her. Wait, she didn't have a good name to sully. Craig is a lush and a way cool dude,a Star Wars geek and has a raging hard-on for Rod Serling. Ha hard-on and rod in the same sentence. Craig, you're a good husband, father and brother-in-law. You'll have to try harder to make the naughty list next year.
Naughty
1. Dan Vaughn...by special request, his own. I think if you want to be on the naughty list, that automatically qualifies you. Let's see, trolling the Beatles, not good. But then again, burning a chicks bra scores a point for the good side. Being way cooler now than in high school..point for the nice side. Uh-Oh, maybe you're on the wrong list....Wait, I've never seen you post anything about Asian chicks being WAYYYY hotter than Western broads ( yep I proudly use chicks and broads ! ) You lose and have earned your spot on the naughty list !
Nice
1 Anthony Bourdain...You just don't get any cooler than this dude. Brutal honesty is awesome
2 Beyonce Knowles....She could come to my place, shit all over the floor, torch my car, say how fat and ugly I am and still not make the naughty list ! She is a godess. The personality, the acting, the voice. I know she must have some Asian in her somewhere !!
3.Kanjana Gawboonruang..my best friend in WoW
4. Tiger Woods...Not only a golf stud, but a stud,stud also...All of you that pew pew him and don't like him are on my naughty list !
Naughty and Nice
This spot goes for my son. Kyle Garrett Morgan. Enough said
Naughty
The USA ! And I can say that because I'm American. You know the old saying "Love it or Leave it ." well I left it ! Sorry, but there is such a thing as too much freedom, and I suppose not many people can realize that until they've lived out of country for a signicant amount of time. Fu#*^@& Americans can just never seem to get enough ! Free speech, guns, money, politicians the economy..Everything is out of control From the ACLU to Green Peace and all you other bleeding heart bastards. You are ruining the country.
Nice
Thailand ! It is not without it's difficulties, however, I am always treated with respect and smiling faces. For the most part, cut and dry. Say bad things about the King..go to prison, bring in drugs...death penalty. Smile and treat people decently and get it back 10 fold !
Naughty
1 Everyone that uses Farmville. God forbid that I don't get on FB for a weekend. Then I caome back and I have like 100 FV request. Finally blocked FV !
2 All my Korean middle school boy students. You suck ass ! Yes there are somethings dumber than a sack of hammers ! For those of you who have never tried teaching to foreigners.....walk over to a wall, talk to it for 5 minutes and listen to the response. You might as well come here and teach.
Nice
All my Korean middle school girl students. At least at this age, girls are much more mature and willing to learn. They are "teachable." Also they love to over-inflate your ego ! Can't beat that !
Naughty
Jackie Tarantino..You know, we're not even FB friends, and I'm not even sure she is on FB or not. But on the off chance that she happens across this page.....She is a nasty, rude bitch. I've ran into her a couple times in Medford to only get the "snub." I know I should not hold a grudge...But a good grudge can really keep you going ! Jackie you're my pet grudge.
Nice
1 Every female that has T & A !!!! I've always been a breast man. Coming to Asia was a culture shock in the fact that the Big Boobie Lovers Club doesn't exist...Apparently the Itty Bitty Titty Committee won out here. Also, I was never really an "Ass man " But living in Korea, you begin to miss the things you no longer have! Very few Korean have that sweet ass factor ! The vast majority have a very flat ass ! So you truly learn to appreciate them when you see them ! Thank god Thais don't have the same problem !
2 My sister Teresa Beam. While my brother is an asshole, my sister is the best ! I don't mean best asshole either ! She always takes care of any business I need done back in the U.S. and never complains about it ( at least not to me ! ) Teresa make Craig buy you some jewelry this year instead of a beer from MacMennamins ! HAHA
3.Lisa Mandel Oliewssiewwiksky Yep, Im too lazy to look up how to spell your name even though it would take two seconds. I don't think I could say it even if it was right there in front of my face. Well, back in the beginning, you were on the naughty list. But now, as with most people (except myself) you have matured nicely. You are a true and loyal friend to Shirley and that's good enough for me to make the nice list !
OK Now for just a list of names with no reason
Nice
Sherri Moffit-Winfree , Donna Draper , Shelley Davies Mickel , Casey Gibbs, Bill Lowe and family, Julee Whaley - Baida, The Loys
Naughty
Well pretty much the rest of you for not keeping in touch LOL.
This was fun and I hope you all take it that way also !
Feliz Navidad
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Manners- Try being polite asshole !
Well I have decided that the world would be a better place if everyone adopted the same set of manners. I know, I know, you are expected to conform to the culture of the country you are in, but I think rude is rude no matter where you go.
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Shanghai
Ok, so talking with my friend Barbie, I was reminded of my trip to Shanghai. So I thought it would be appropriate here..duh !
This is a picture of me at the waterfront in the Pudong District. Behind me is their equivelent of the Space needle. Everyone is preparing for the next night which will be the beginning of the Chinese New Year.
Pretty much all of Asia celebrates Chinese New Year. For some it is just a few days off, for Chinese it is much different. I honestly can't tell you too much about it...The spirit of Chairman Mao might come to haunt me ! "Aahhhh....ancient Chinese tradition...You foreign man..you no spread our ways to the West !!" Yeah, whatever, got a fortune cookie ? Anyways, back on point, one of the main reasons for everyone setting off firecrackers and fireworks is to scare those pesky evil spirits away. C'mon now, really ? Loud noises scare away the boogeyman ? My neighbor must have ghost in his apartment cuz the assclown is ALWAYS slamming his door !
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| It's more like a controlled burn ! |
Well moving along. This was a nice trip, but not the most pleasant one. I went with my boss and some Korean co-workers and some of their friends. A big no no I have learned. Koreans are very anal about their time. Everything is planned right down to what time to have a bowel movement...Sound funny ? I'm serious on that one ! And of course they have a tourguide who only speaks Korean and Chinese. After half a day of not knowing what the hell is going on..I tell them I am jumping ship and striking out on my own. Nothing has really changed..I still don't know what the hell is going on, or where the hell I'm at....but at least I don't have to listen to someone yammering away in Korean !
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| I was very lost, but I managed to stumble into a few places like this |
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And this place too. It was part of a big market place. A couple of years later I saw this place again....In the Movie the Fantastic 4 haha |
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| And then a few stilt walkers. There are ALL kinds of festivities going on like this everywhere ! |
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| A classic example of East meets West So the food was ok. The main problem was the ordering of it. No one in the place spoke any English. I was pointing at the board behind them, trying to make them understand what I wanted. I have no idea why, but they could just not figure it out ! So me, being the nice abrasive white guy from America, walked behind their counter, and put my hand on the Quarterpounder with Cheese picture...slapped it 2 times...then showed them 2 fingers...then pointed to myself.....rinse and repeat. They finally got that I wanted two of them...and I think they were apologizing for not understanding, and then they only charged me for one, not two. Score for me ! Saved like $1 US ! Well aside from getting plenty of cheap massages that was pretty much the highlights of my trip. Taxi drivers are crazy...Thay will laugh at you if you put on your seatbelt in their car. Also most drivers are encased in a Plexiglass type window. If you're in the back seat or the front passenger seat, you can't touch them because of the barrier. You slip your money thru a little slip. Shanghai is a massively sprawled out city. I found out the hard way. Not much English anywhere, so it is difficult using public transportation. I grabbed up brochures and business cards at the hotel and would show the drivers where I wanted to go. The massages are good and cheap...but nowhere close to the quality of a Thai massage..I guess I may be too spoiled. And speaking of which, next month I will be back in Thailand enjoying the afore mentioned massages and living the easy live out of this cold snowy crap ! Hasta Luego ! T |
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
More random rants
To start with, this first random rant goes out to the movie Clerks II. They have a argument as to whether it is OK to go ass to mouth. Well here in Korea I go ass to mouth all the time ! Wait, maybe I should explain that a little better. When I ride the bus to and from work, I like to sit in a seat, not stand the whole way (go figure.) The seats on most buses sit two people, and are very close to the row in front of them, very little leg room and a tight squeeze for someone like me to get to the window. So when I get on the bus, I will see all these Koreans move over from the window to the aisle seat, presuming that I won't sit with them. I always try to keep an eye out for the first person I see that moves, then I make a bee-line for them. Of course they won't slide over to the window, so I cram past them and I always bend over a little more than is needed so my ass goes right in their face.....and I'm not talking close, I'm talking my ass actually hitting them in the face !! LOL It's a fun thing to do now ! And the coup-de-grace is when I can actually cut one loose at the same moment. PRICELESS ! Of course they don't say a single word, or even look at me for that matter. And if I get on the bus again and see the same person, they tend to either move to the window or stand up. Ahhhh, sometimes it truly pays to be rude.
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It's all about the kids.
Well some things are difficult to get accustomed to. But many things are easy to get desensitised to. Back in the US everything is about being politically correct , Asia is more along the lines of "politically what ?"
Another thing. Usually on the bus, when an old person or pregnant woman get on, I will stand up and give up my seat. Korean kids are supposed to do this, but they only do it if they get caught. What I mean by that is this : The bus pulls up to a bus stop, and almost in unison, you can see all their heads go down like they are asleep. This way they can ignore who is getting on the bus. Then after the bus starts moving again the miraculously wake up again, at least until the next stop. Sometimes they do get caught though. Maybe they are on their cell phone when the bus stops, maybe they are talking with their friend. And my personal favorite is when the old man will whack them on the head and tell them to move !
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| Very common to see Asians wearing shirts like these. They have no idea what it says, it's just English. |
Here is just a short list of what I hear from students in class everyday. If a kid is overweight, even just slightly, the students all say" He's a pig" or " he's a fatboy." If a student has a darker complexion " he's black, he's negro" or "he's country boy." When a student is not so smart....well I should say when a student is dumber than the other dummies they say " he's stupid" or " he handicap boy." And then there are the stupidest kids of all, the athletes. No GPA stuff here for student athletes. They are basically recruited in middle school to attend the best High Schools and then best Universities from there. Most of them only attend 1/2 days of school and leave to go practice the other half. I swear to God that these kids actually try to not learn anything. Anyways, when I ask a question to an athlete, the students all say " he baseball player" or wrestler or soccer or whatever sport and the athlete just sits and stares at me like I am from Mars.
I remember asking my co-teacher why they all call the fat kids piggy and so on. The teachers response was"because he is fat ! Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up for me, I wasn't sure. For the first 2 years at this school, we had a mentally retarded boy...all the students would tell me he stupid, he handicap boy. Now, the students being called these names are used to it. It is blatant and continuous from Kindergarten through University level. They don't take it as an insult, it is just a mater of fact. But the kids that they call country boys or black, get very upset. Being a country boy....this means that your skin is dark because you are poor, you have had to work on the farm picking rice or whatever. Your family is poor and you are stupid. That is not only Koreans, but true for most all of Asia. They truly treasure white skin. They think we are nuts for laying in the sun or doing the fake and bake thing.
Girls here are much smarter than boys of equal age. For the most part, they hit puberty sooner and start maturing quicker. I don't think some of these boys actually hit puberty until about 25 or so ! When I taught at an all girls school, it was much nicer. They did their homework, they spoke English better and their grades mattered to them. Boys simply don't give a shit. For the most part, they are all polite to me - the bows and good morning sir or hello Terry teacher. But there are always the trouble makers.
My first job in Korea was in a small town. I used to walk by these high school kids almost everyday. They would inevitably say something derogatory and in quiet voices when I would go by. Well one day, one of them decides he has grown a pair and says loudly to me "f*ck you." I take about 1/2 a second to spin around and grab the closest kid by the shirt collar. I lifted him off his feet and against the wall and yell loudly "What the f*ck did you say ?" HAHAHA he starts crying. I drop him down and turn to the other boys......they were gone...up and vanished like a fart in the wind ! Needless to say, they NEVER said another word to me again. As a matter of fact, most times when they would see me coming, they would leave. HAHA, Lesson learned ! The ironic part was that these kids could have probably kicked my ass. Most Koreans learn Tae Kwondo at sometime. But I think that because so many know it, they all assume that everyone else knows it too. They watch too much WWE and UFC.
Well, that's all for now. More to follow soon
Terry
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A change of pace
Well, even though I could continue to blast Korea (they are such an easy target) I think will go to Thailand today.
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a subconsciencous level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.
Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !
OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a subconsciencous level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.
Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !
OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Instead of The Asian Way, maybe this should have been Diary of a Madman !
Well, today you will probably get a lot of incoherent ramblings of a cracker in a non-cracker world. I just happen to be in one of those "special" moods where I feel like kickin' someones ass. Alas ! I still have a shred of common sense though and would rather not spend any time in a foreign country.
Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE ! As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !! So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.
So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???
It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.
And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !" I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.
Well, sleep on that all.
Cya
Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE ! As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !! So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.
So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???
It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.
And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !" I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.
Well, sleep on that all.
Cya
Monday, November 8, 2010
Easy reading....like a Playboy, lots of pics
Well, right now I am too tired to properly write out a blog. So I'm going to post some pics of things that continue to boggle the old noggin here in Korea..Oh and a few from Thailand.
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| It's a progressively spicier menu |
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| Is it any real wonder why I can't figure out what to eat here ? |
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| Doesn't really make me feel that thirsty ! |
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| Please don't feed the Korean machinery ! |
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| Not only is it clean, it's BLUE ! |
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| I know you women relate to this one.and apparently so does the University |
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| This is in Thailand, trust me, pay the extra for the VIP Room ! |
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| OK This is on a ton of cars here...I have know idea what the hell they are talking about...But then again, neither do they |
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| So, having a little problem are we ? So there you have it. Just a touch of what is out there. This doesn't include all the shirts I see EVERYDAY ! They have no clue what they say. They just like the color. |
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Go ahead and toot your horn
Now growing up in Smallville USA, the most I really heard a horn used was from a car alarm. On occasion you would have the angry driver or two blare the horn, but for the most part, the horn was for "emergency" situations i.e. children running out in front of you, a car changing lanes that doesn't see you and so on.
That being said, in Asia, the horn takes on a whole new life. If it's not a car honking at you , then it's a bus, if not that, then it's a motorcycle, if not that, then it's the dickhead on his bicycle ringing his bell at you. You can't escape the dreaded horn here.
Different countries however, use their horns for different reasons. Thailand, I have noticed, uses their horns primarily for defense. For Korea it's a strictly offensive tool. Allow me to please start with Korea since it is the most offensive. I ride the bus to and from work everyday. It is about a 10-15 minute ride. On an average day, during that short time span, you can count on the driver using his horn no less than 10 times. This is not because of all the idiot drivers around him, he uses it to scream at other drivers " Get the hell outta my way, I'm coming through !" If he feels a car is going to slow....horn, if he feels a car has not pulled enough to the left so he can illegally pass on the right....horn. If you do not start to take off from a red light BEFORE it turns green...horn....Seriously, you can be waiting for the light to turn green and 4 or 5 drivers will start honking at you because they see no traffic coming the other direction and you are not moving yet. When I take a taxi, they have one eye on the road, one eye watching their Korean soap opera on TV, one hand steering and the other resting on their horn. They are almost caressing their precious horn like it's a new found girlfriend. Another unusual habit that I have seen EVERY Korean driver do. When then stop at a red light, the car gets put into park and the Emergency brake goes on ????? They say they are saving gas that way, but by the way they actually drive, they aren't saving shit ! And anyone else who has been here has also experienced this other annoyance....Many of the older drivers..taxis, buses, private cars etc...They all push their gas pedal up and down. Say you're driving down a road with no other traffic. Your driver will be quickly "revving " his engine by tapping the gas pedal up and down. You are actually rocking back and forth when they do this.
Now Thailand....just the opposite. The horn is used a lot also, but mostly in a defensive manner. That is to say, you are approaching an intersection that you have no intention of stopping at...So you pre-emptively honk your horn in the hope that others will slow down so that you can blaze through. Unfortunately this doesn't work very often. There are tons of motorcycles there. They all have those little " beep-beep" horns. When I am driving in my truck, with the air-con blowing and my DVD blasting out some Kiss tunes...I don't hear a damn thing. I am surprised actually that I haven't killed anything aside from a cobra lazily crossing the highway. Overall, I think Thailand is a much more relaxed place to drive....Not that I would ever drive in Bangkok ! Crazy bad traffic there. Last time we came from the airport, it took about 20 minutes to get downtown and then about 5 blocks from our hotel.... it took another 45 minutes to travel that last 5 blocks. Of course we could have walked it much faster, but we had 4 suitcases and it was pouring rain.
Then you have Hong Kong. OK, I don't know what the hell is going on there ! It is such a mix of offensive and defensive honking, that I think everyone has just tuned out the horns. You know, kinda like when the wife is talking and you are just hearing blah,blah,blah..and answer with the occasional head nod and uh-huh. Ooh, maybe that explains why I have been married 3 times also ! And totally off the subject of horns...that reminds me of why I love having a Thai wife so much ! You don't have to really listen to them..just when they pause, you say " uhh." That is a legitimate Thai answer. I can watch my TV show and just say "uhh" a couple of times and I am good to go. Of course, being American, when I talk to her and she says that to me, I will ask if she is even listening to me, at which point she prattles off whatever I just said. When she does happen to catch me and ask me what she said..I go into a deep thought "looking" mode and say " Mai Khoa Jai " Thai for I don't understand...and I chalk it up to the language barrier. I know that is only going to get me so far as she is picking up more slang from me and I am learning more Thai. Just the other day she told me to shut my pie hole ! I was rolling on the ground laughing. She heard it from one of my movies.
Ahhh, life can be good sometimes !
That being said, in Asia, the horn takes on a whole new life. If it's not a car honking at you , then it's a bus, if not that, then it's a motorcycle, if not that, then it's the dickhead on his bicycle ringing his bell at you. You can't escape the dreaded horn here.
Different countries however, use their horns for different reasons. Thailand, I have noticed, uses their horns primarily for defense. For Korea it's a strictly offensive tool. Allow me to please start with Korea since it is the most offensive. I ride the bus to and from work everyday. It is about a 10-15 minute ride. On an average day, during that short time span, you can count on the driver using his horn no less than 10 times. This is not because of all the idiot drivers around him, he uses it to scream at other drivers " Get the hell outta my way, I'm coming through !" If he feels a car is going to slow....horn, if he feels a car has not pulled enough to the left so he can illegally pass on the right....horn. If you do not start to take off from a red light BEFORE it turns green...horn....Seriously, you can be waiting for the light to turn green and 4 or 5 drivers will start honking at you because they see no traffic coming the other direction and you are not moving yet. When I take a taxi, they have one eye on the road, one eye watching their Korean soap opera on TV, one hand steering and the other resting on their horn. They are almost caressing their precious horn like it's a new found girlfriend. Another unusual habit that I have seen EVERY Korean driver do. When then stop at a red light, the car gets put into park and the Emergency brake goes on ????? They say they are saving gas that way, but by the way they actually drive, they aren't saving shit ! And anyone else who has been here has also experienced this other annoyance....Many of the older drivers..taxis, buses, private cars etc...They all push their gas pedal up and down. Say you're driving down a road with no other traffic. Your driver will be quickly "revving " his engine by tapping the gas pedal up and down. You are actually rocking back and forth when they do this.
Now Thailand....just the opposite. The horn is used a lot also, but mostly in a defensive manner. That is to say, you are approaching an intersection that you have no intention of stopping at...So you pre-emptively honk your horn in the hope that others will slow down so that you can blaze through. Unfortunately this doesn't work very often. There are tons of motorcycles there. They all have those little " beep-beep" horns. When I am driving in my truck, with the air-con blowing and my DVD blasting out some Kiss tunes...I don't hear a damn thing. I am surprised actually that I haven't killed anything aside from a cobra lazily crossing the highway. Overall, I think Thailand is a much more relaxed place to drive....Not that I would ever drive in Bangkok ! Crazy bad traffic there. Last time we came from the airport, it took about 20 minutes to get downtown and then about 5 blocks from our hotel.... it took another 45 minutes to travel that last 5 blocks. Of course we could have walked it much faster, but we had 4 suitcases and it was pouring rain.
Then you have Hong Kong. OK, I don't know what the hell is going on there ! It is such a mix of offensive and defensive honking, that I think everyone has just tuned out the horns. You know, kinda like when the wife is talking and you are just hearing blah,blah,blah..and answer with the occasional head nod and uh-huh. Ooh, maybe that explains why I have been married 3 times also ! And totally off the subject of horns...that reminds me of why I love having a Thai wife so much ! You don't have to really listen to them..just when they pause, you say " uhh." That is a legitimate Thai answer. I can watch my TV show and just say "uhh" a couple of times and I am good to go. Of course, being American, when I talk to her and she says that to me, I will ask if she is even listening to me, at which point she prattles off whatever I just said. When she does happen to catch me and ask me what she said..I go into a deep thought "looking" mode and say " Mai Khoa Jai " Thai for I don't understand...and I chalk it up to the language barrier. I know that is only going to get me so far as she is picking up more slang from me and I am learning more Thai. Just the other day she told me to shut my pie hole ! I was rolling on the ground laughing. She heard it from one of my movies.
Ahhh, life can be good sometimes !
Monday, October 25, 2010
In the immortal words of Peter Griffin " you know what really grinds my gears "
Well, I'm in a kinda pissy mood. No real reason, just woke up that way.....I'm sure you women can relate, at least my 2nd wife could. So let's run down the list for the things that set this in motion.
First, while watching UFC 121 this weekend. Now let me tell you, I am not a racist, however, just because I am white, automatically makes me one. As I was saying, UFC 121, Cain Velasquez vs. Brock Lesnar. Cain is from Mexico and has a big tattoo across his chest that says "Brown Pride." Anything wrong with that ? Well I didn't think so at first, but then as I looked at Brocks big tattoos, it got me thinking...."Danger Will Robinson, Danger ! " If Brock had the same tattoo but it said "White Pride," How would that be perceived ? Yep you guessed it, everyone would say he was a skin head racist bastard. If I had the same tattoo, everyone would say the same. Why is it OK though for a Mexican to have Brown Pride, or an African to have Black Pride ? But put White Pride on a Caucasian and all hell breaks loose.
For those of you who haven't seen the movie Clerks II, I highly recommend it for this particular reason. One character named Randall, decides that "porch monkey" isn't a derogatory racial slur and he is going to "take it back." It is actually quite hilarious. Now, I am not going to go get a white pride tattoo done. Nor do I believe that whites are a superior race...Shit just take one look at my brother and you can easily realize that ! I am all for diversity, for cryin' in the sink, I am married to someone of which English is a second language !
Well all of this got me thinking more and more about Korean pride, their xenophobia and their racism. I even went so far as to dig up actual facts on this one ! Koreans truly pride themselves on being a "true-blood race." No idea why they love Harry Potter, he's white and a half-blood ! Ha ha. South Korea is 99% pure blood. In many news articles though, there is an alarming rate of mix-blood marriages happening. Mostly this is the rural farmers and fisherman who purchase brides from China,Vietnam, Cambodia etc. The resulting mixed race children has become concerning here. Of these children, 35% drop out of elementary school ! Yes elementary school ! In large part do to the racism, and bulling by other children, with the teachers not doing a thing.
Then a funny thing happened a few years back. Wide Receiver Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers, won the Superbowl MVP. Turns out that Hines is half Black and half Korean. When he was just a child, his mother was ostracized by everyone she knew for having a black child. Eventually she was forced to move to the US to try to give Hines a decent life. Well after he won the MVP, Koreans suddenly loved him and he became a national hero. While some welcome the diversity....There are many more that do not. Some legislation was passed and" mixed-blood people" was changed to "people of international marriages" North Korea said, "South Korea is denying its national race and its 5,000-year history by professing to be a multiracial nation. Such moves will Americanize Korea, ruin its past history and weaken the power to combat dominative U.S. forces."
Gimme a frigging break man !
OK, Next on the list. In a country where approximately 95% of all Koreans were some type of corrective lenses. It is now popular to wear glass frames without the actual glasses ! They wear contacts, but "fashion eyeglass frames" to look cool....I'm gonna bitch slap those right off your face.
Mosquitoes, I remember back home, I mosquito bite isn't that bad, a little itchy for a few days and done. Korean mosquitoes.....When you get bit by them, they leave a hard knot as well as the itch ! I mean it feel like a BB is under your skin kinda hard ! And it itches forever !. Thailand Mosquitoes..no knot, but a bazillion of them there, and you are much more likely to catch Malaria, or Dengue fever there.
Another thing that is common in all of Asia, PICKING YOUR NOSE ! Now when was the last time you were talking face to face with an adult and they all of sudden jam a finger up their nose and start rooting for gold ? Well I see this almost everyday. Talking to a pretty girl, blah blah blah and then there it is ! finger up the nose ! Then they take it out and inspect it like it might be some alien worm probe from Star Trek ! Yes, even the wife used to do this, and I emphasize used to ! We broke that habit lol.
Coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth is common also. And there are no "bless you's" here. Bless you is not an American thing either, many,many countries say something when you sneeze. Not over here.
Hurry up and wait...I used to think that this was strictly from my military life ! It is an Asian lifestyle. While I see plenty of it her in Korea, Hong Kong was the worst ! My god, just changing subways, people get off one train, push and shove and literally run of to the next platform where the train won't be arriving for another 5 minutes still. Train arrives and it's like the Roman Colosseum. Mortal combat as people try to get off the train and onto the train at the same time !
So to sum up: I am not racist. I hate mosquitoes. Don't pick your nose during a conversation and slow down and enjoy life.
First, while watching UFC 121 this weekend. Now let me tell you, I am not a racist, however, just because I am white, automatically makes me one. As I was saying, UFC 121, Cain Velasquez vs. Brock Lesnar. Cain is from Mexico and has a big tattoo across his chest that says "Brown Pride." Anything wrong with that ? Well I didn't think so at first, but then as I looked at Brocks big tattoos, it got me thinking...."Danger Will Robinson, Danger ! " If Brock had the same tattoo but it said "White Pride," How would that be perceived ? Yep you guessed it, everyone would say he was a skin head racist bastard. If I had the same tattoo, everyone would say the same. Why is it OK though for a Mexican to have Brown Pride, or an African to have Black Pride ? But put White Pride on a Caucasian and all hell breaks loose.
For those of you who haven't seen the movie Clerks II, I highly recommend it for this particular reason. One character named Randall, decides that "porch monkey" isn't a derogatory racial slur and he is going to "take it back." It is actually quite hilarious. Now, I am not going to go get a white pride tattoo done. Nor do I believe that whites are a superior race...Shit just take one look at my brother and you can easily realize that ! I am all for diversity, for cryin' in the sink, I am married to someone of which English is a second language !
Well all of this got me thinking more and more about Korean pride, their xenophobia and their racism. I even went so far as to dig up actual facts on this one ! Koreans truly pride themselves on being a "true-blood race." No idea why they love Harry Potter, he's white and a half-blood ! Ha ha. South Korea is 99% pure blood. In many news articles though, there is an alarming rate of mix-blood marriages happening. Mostly this is the rural farmers and fisherman who purchase brides from China,Vietnam, Cambodia etc. The resulting mixed race children has become concerning here. Of these children, 35% drop out of elementary school ! Yes elementary school ! In large part do to the racism, and bulling by other children, with the teachers not doing a thing.
Then a funny thing happened a few years back. Wide Receiver Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers, won the Superbowl MVP. Turns out that Hines is half Black and half Korean. When he was just a child, his mother was ostracized by everyone she knew for having a black child. Eventually she was forced to move to the US to try to give Hines a decent life. Well after he won the MVP, Koreans suddenly loved him and he became a national hero. While some welcome the diversity....There are many more that do not. Some legislation was passed and" mixed-blood people" was changed to "people of international marriages" North Korea said, "South Korea is denying its national race and its 5,000-year history by professing to be a multiracial nation. Such moves will Americanize Korea, ruin its past history and weaken the power to combat dominative U.S. forces."
Gimme a frigging break man !
OK, Next on the list. In a country where approximately 95% of all Koreans were some type of corrective lenses. It is now popular to wear glass frames without the actual glasses ! They wear contacts, but "fashion eyeglass frames" to look cool....I'm gonna bitch slap those right off your face.
Mosquitoes, I remember back home, I mosquito bite isn't that bad, a little itchy for a few days and done. Korean mosquitoes.....When you get bit by them, they leave a hard knot as well as the itch ! I mean it feel like a BB is under your skin kinda hard ! And it itches forever !. Thailand Mosquitoes..no knot, but a bazillion of them there, and you are much more likely to catch Malaria, or Dengue fever there.
Another thing that is common in all of Asia, PICKING YOUR NOSE ! Now when was the last time you were talking face to face with an adult and they all of sudden jam a finger up their nose and start rooting for gold ? Well I see this almost everyday. Talking to a pretty girl, blah blah blah and then there it is ! finger up the nose ! Then they take it out and inspect it like it might be some alien worm probe from Star Trek ! Yes, even the wife used to do this, and I emphasize used to ! We broke that habit lol.
Coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth is common also. And there are no "bless you's" here. Bless you is not an American thing either, many,many countries say something when you sneeze. Not over here.
Hurry up and wait...I used to think that this was strictly from my military life ! It is an Asian lifestyle. While I see plenty of it her in Korea, Hong Kong was the worst ! My god, just changing subways, people get off one train, push and shove and literally run of to the next platform where the train won't be arriving for another 5 minutes still. Train arrives and it's like the Roman Colosseum. Mortal combat as people try to get off the train and onto the train at the same time !
So to sum up: I am not racist. I hate mosquitoes. Don't pick your nose during a conversation and slow down and enjoy life.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thailand.....Life in the village
I find it funny that my wife often ask about the village that I came from. I don't think we've had "villages" in the US for over 100 years. Even though Grants Pass Oregon only had around 13-14k people when I was growing up there, it was still a city or town.
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| Typical dirt road village |
Now when I am at home in Chumphae Thailand ( the NE) we truly live in a village. There are about 700 people who live there and everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everyone else's business. Thai's aren't much in the way of keeping secrets. I know where each foreigner lives or has lived, how they met their partner, why they no longer live there etc. I even know that lady is the sister of the woman who was best friends of the woman who married that German guy. Huh ? Gossip is next to gold in Thailand.
Acceptance
Keep in mind that no two villages are alike. They all have their own sub cultures and rituals.
I was once a visitor now I am a resident and treated as a village person. No more red carpet and no more allowances for western behavior, however I do get a few special perks from time to time.
Does that mean I am accepted as a Thai ? Not even close ! Even if you have lived here 20 years, have Thai children, speak Thai and speak Lao you will always be a farang outsider.Oh yeah, They speak a mixed dialect of Thai and Lao here. So the majority of the language I have learned is not "true" Thai. You might consider Castillian Spanish and Mexican Spanish, or English from the US, England and Australia....Basics are the same, and you understand one another.There are just a few words here and there that throw you.
Isaan village food and drink
If it moves or grows they eat it. They eat very healthy food and always little and often. The children are beginning to lean towards fatty food and all have a sweet tooth. Western influence again.
All manner of meat (cow, buffalo, pig, duck, chicken, rat, snake, frog, dog, turtle, ants, lizards, DON’T anyone tell me they do not eat dogs in Thailand. They do
All manner of vegetables and greens growing in the wild and leaves from numerous trees plus fruits
Sticky rice and sticky rice and sticky rice
Their diet is superb and would almost fit into many alternative medicine theories. Meat in small portions, vegetables in abundance and of course copious amounts of sticky rice. Always followed by fruit.
Most of their food is boiled or steamed with occasional barbecuing. Sometime though the meat is raw and that takes some stomaching. I have been given raw heart, liver and intestines and it is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, after taking some "miniture" bites, unfortunately it did just the opposite to my sex drive ! Most women will not eat beef and turtle. In fact for a woman to watch a turtle cook will make her barren. Many old wives tales but I will cover that later.
Drink. Well as a rule most of the village drink water, Leo and soft drinks BUT many take the killer. The two most common causes of death here are motorbikes (no helmets of course) and drinking the killer. What’s the Killer?. In mild form it is bottled Isaan whiskey. In village brewing form it is a pot of fermenting rice which turns it into pure alcohol. This is washed down with Red Bull and honey.
Finally for this segment...lol
Village events and celebrations
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| To celebrate the New Year and wishes for plenty of rain in the upcoming season |
Celebrations are very important to the Thai villager. Time to let their hair down, get drunk and party. SongKran (Google it ) here lasts 7 days and nights. Local events are too numerous to mention. All involve a parade around the village with monks at the head and copious amounts of booze consumed. At one event I was in the crowd taking pics and the parade stopped. I was ushered over to the monk’s pickup and told to mount and sit with the monks, headman and police. Duly installed I ended up surrounded by junior monks who spoke English and wanted to learn. They, including the top monk smoked my cigarettes and I ended up throwing sweets to the kids. Monks in the villages are different to those in towns and cities At SongKran, I was told it was permissible for me to throw water on a monk. "Are you sure?" Yes! The head monk approached so I proceeded to douse a whole bucket of water over his head. The crowd were in hysterics the wife was fuming. I was the told it should have been a trickle down the left shoulder. Oops, my bad there ! So the next thing is an immediate high wai to the monk and said I was sorry. He was smiling at me came over put his hands on my shoulders and whispered in my ear “don’t worry, you are still learning my farang brother. Here is my mobile number but don’t tell anybody I speak English”
Cracked me up...wife still doesn't believe me to this day that is what he said ! LOL
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Korea : Work hard, Play hard
Well, first off, I rag on Korea a lot, but let me give them some props. Public Transportation. Planes, trains, taxi's and subways. Korea does have a very good transportation system that is also pretty cheap. Of course I still have a few gripes about the system....1st is the lack of English ( although that is changing.) Many places only have signs in Korean and no one speaks English , or will admit that they do. As I mention previously, the Tourist Information booth that only spoke Korean. The 2nd problem is that so many cities have names that sound so similar, that if you don't say it just right, there is no telling where you will wind up. Jincheon, Incheon,Jaecheon and so on. I may have related before about the taxi drivers also...but if you can't say it exactly, they don't know where to go, if you say "E-Mart" they don't understand...you have to say it in Konglish (Korean-English together) and say E-Mart-uh..then they understand. Another big issue is that most places don't have street names. You can't say, "take me to 33rd and Washington." To get somewhere, you have to tell them a popular landmark and then direct them from there. For example I will tell them " Sinpo-dong...Post office" and when they get there, I direct them for another 2 blocks to my condo.
The Internet is another big shout out for Korea. I think it is the most up to date and wired country in the world. Work nice for me !
Now onto the main topic. This country works very hard, and they like to play even harder !!!!! This is actually ingrained into them starting in preschool....They will take their class in preschool, and then after that many of them attend extra classes after school at a Hagwon ( private academy) There they will take music, science,English, math etc. As they get older they spend more time in school and still keep up the Hagwons. By high school, they start around 8:30am until around 5pm, at which time the get a 1 or 2 hour break for dinner. Then they come back and continue until around 10 or 11pm. Still not enough yet, they will then go to another Hagwon for another 1 or 2 hours. Then they go home around midnight or so....do any homework or studying, play a bit and get up and do it again the next morning.
They also attend school every other Saturday. When I first started here, it was every Saturday !
They then go to college and pretty much stay on the same track. They are smart people, but they are also raising a nation of social retards. They don't know how to interact with others and aren't very outgoing.
By the time they reach the workforce, not much has changed. Working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. Last night some of my co-teachers were here at the school until 11pm to prepare for an evaluation...I was friggin pissed cuz they made me stay 10 minutes late !
Now one of their favorite pastimes is to work a long day, then go to dinner with co-workers and eat an assload of food and get totally shit-faced. Then they go to a Noraebang (Karaoke room) drink more,puke a few times and go home around 2 or 3 am.....on a Monday or Tuesday ! LOL I have had teachers come to work still hammered from the night before. This is something some of them do 2-4 times a week !
Another nice custom is that if you are invited to do something, the person who did the inviting is expected to pay. Also in Korea you do not tip. I have actually tried to tip before and had them refuse it !
OK, more on the Korean nightlife to be continued...I actually have to go teach one class today ! The class that is being evaluated by the Board of Education, that I took about 10 minutes to throw together :)
The Internet is another big shout out for Korea. I think it is the most up to date and wired country in the world. Work nice for me !
Now onto the main topic. This country works very hard, and they like to play even harder !!!!! This is actually ingrained into them starting in preschool....They will take their class in preschool, and then after that many of them attend extra classes after school at a Hagwon ( private academy) There they will take music, science,English, math etc. As they get older they spend more time in school and still keep up the Hagwons. By high school, they start around 8:30am until around 5pm, at which time the get a 1 or 2 hour break for dinner. Then they come back and continue until around 10 or 11pm. Still not enough yet, they will then go to another Hagwon for another 1 or 2 hours. Then they go home around midnight or so....do any homework or studying, play a bit and get up and do it again the next morning.
They also attend school every other Saturday. When I first started here, it was every Saturday !
They then go to college and pretty much stay on the same track. They are smart people, but they are also raising a nation of social retards. They don't know how to interact with others and aren't very outgoing.
By the time they reach the workforce, not much has changed. Working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. Last night some of my co-teachers were here at the school until 11pm to prepare for an evaluation...I was friggin pissed cuz they made me stay 10 minutes late !
Another nice custom is that if you are invited to do something, the person who did the inviting is expected to pay. Also in Korea you do not tip. I have actually tried to tip before and had them refuse it !
OK, more on the Korean nightlife to be continued...I actually have to go teach one class today ! The class that is being evaluated by the Board of Education, that I took about 10 minutes to throw together :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
OK, the exciting subject of Toilets !
Yeah, I know, Toilets ? Why do we want to read about toilets ? Well over here, toilets are quite different from western styles. While most newer building have incorporated the western style of toilet, the most common is still the "squatter." HUH ? Squatter ? WTF is that ? Easier than explaining is showing.
Just as it sounds, you squat, not sit on it. Now this poses a problem for westerners such as myself. To squat straight down, flat footed, with only the walls to give you some sense of balance.. Also, flushing with toilet paper is highly discouraged, so there is usually a wastebasket full of , yup, you know it, well used TP. Therefore many bathrooms aren't the "freshest" smelling places. Now just the difficulty of trying to use this when you are sober is hard enough. When you are toasted and spinning around, it is damn near impossible to do.
This picture finely demonstrates the art of squatting !
Note that it is a normal toilet, yet they make special platforms so you can still squat. Maybe it's more hygienic. Your ass isn't touching a seat someone Else's ass has touched ! Either way, I have become like the Shit-brick in American Pie. No matter the discomfort, it's gotta wait til I get home !
Now squatters are the most common toilets not only in Korea, but in most of Asia. Whether you are going to China, Japan, Thailand or so on, be prepared to use these.
Now in Thailand, they use the same kind of squatters, however, most do not have a flushing system. You pour in water and let gravity take care of the rest.
Now, in Thailand, whether you are right handed or left handed doesn't matter. Whenever you eat, you always use your right hand to eat with. The left hand is considered "unclean." Usually you will find no TP in these bathrooms. After you have assumed your best Kung Fu master stance and taken care of business, you actually use your bare left hand to wipe with. God's honest truth. Then you clean it as best you can under the faucet. So if you see someone chowing down with their left hand, DON'T EAT THAT FOOD ! This is why I always carry TP with me anywhere I go. It's stashed in my truck and under the seat of my motorcycle too.
The upside for men in Korea, is that you are pretty much free to urinate where ever you please in public. I see it ALL the time. The cops even walk past and don't say anything. So whether it's legal or they're just apathetic I don't know.
One other thing about public bathrooms in Asia, they are VERY public. Many being uni-sex. One time standing at a urinal here in Korea, This little hottie comes in behind me, and goes into the stall next to me...At first I am thinking, "Cool, Korean, sexy and not too shy !" Then she cuts loose like she has been on a steady diet of kimchi and Mexican water and Montezuma is a very pissed man. So I forgot all about her and was trying to finish as fast as I possible. The sound was grossing me out big time......Then the small hit, Jesus, Joseph and Mary ! I ended up getting out with a minor wet spot on the front of my jeans, from missing out on the proper amount of shakes.
Also, you will often be standing there and the cleaning woman will come in and start cleaning away. Sometimes she will even start talking with you ! And you know you've been here too long when you start talking back to her. I have one last pic to share with you. My favorite.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Ahhhh, being a couple. Overrated and overdone here !
Being a couple obviously has it's ups and downs. If you go out for a nice dinner date, or something of that nature , you might be considerate and wear some clothes that help compliment your partner. You would like to match, not clash. Case in point, back in America, you show up to pick up your date, she is all made up and wearing a lovely little number with those hot pumps you love so much. You are wearing a grease stained t-shirt and Levi's with holes in them. Oh yeah, and a pair of your best flip-flops.<----I know guys, "what's wrong with that ?" However, she might feel a tad upset and feel the two of you clash.
Well in Asia, I have plenty of "matching couples." But not in any other country like Korea. If you're lucky, you just see them wearing the same shirts. But for many, that is not enough, they go full on with shirt, pants, shoes and even purses. Yep Korean men like to carry around purses ( man-bags, man-purses,murses,man-sack...whatever you call it, it's still a purse.)
Notice how nice and loud they are also---------------------->
Well in Asia, I have plenty of "matching couples." But not in any other country like Korea. If you're lucky, you just see them wearing the same shirts. But for many, that is not enough, they go full on with shirt, pants, shoes and even purses. Yep Korean men like to carry around purses ( man-bags, man-purses,murses,man-sack...whatever you call it, it's still a purse.)
Notice how nice and loud they are also---------------------->
Unfortunately they missed out on the shoes. A minor faux pau in the fact that while they are both wearing chinos, they are not the same.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Getting around in Thailand
Actually I want to talk about 4 movies I watched this weekend. Since this blog is "The Asian Way" I guess I should start with something relevant though.
So, the most common form of transportation in Thailand is the motorcycle. Now this is not a true motorcycle as we know it, it is more of a cross-breed between a motorcycle and a moped. You can do up to about 60mph on these give or take depending on what size the engine is.
Anyways, you can always take the usually slow, often smelly train to get to places also. For long hauls, I usually fly. It is very cheap to fly within Thailand. On occasion I will take a V.I.P bus for a change of pace. They have nice wide seats that recline and have a foot rest that comes up..Kinda like a lazy boy.
So, the most common form of transportation in Thailand is the motorcycle. Now this is not a true motorcycle as we know it, it is more of a cross-breed between a motorcycle and a moped. You can do up to about 60mph on these give or take depending on what size the engine is.
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| Family of 5 , not one helmet ! |
The main difference being that while in the US, these could hold two people, in Thailand they are used to hold families of up to 5. They also use them to carry huge amounts of cargo.
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| Well at least the man has a helmet ! |
Some of this may account for the high accident rate involving motorcycles in Thailand...I could be wrong though. Maybe it's the mass amounts of Lao Lao (homemade whiskey - moonshine !) While I see these all the time in Thailand , and yes I think it's funny, I can't imagine life without them. I know Karma is gonna be on my ass for that one ! Laila even lost her brother in a motorcycle accident. And I still can't help but laugh. Turns out he was driving his cycle up the winding mountain roads, but he was a bit distracted. He was carrying a very uncooperative, live pig in his arms at the time. He went wide around a corner as the pig squirmed and he swerved right into an oncoming truck. I know, I'm sick.
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| The bus to Krabi |
Oh yeah, If you live in Bangkok, you also have the Sky train and the subway around the city.
OH SHIT ! I forgot tuk tuks ! Man, these are an exciting, white knuckle, breathe in the exhaust fumes ride ! These are normally meant for two passengers or one fat guy like me. The pic above has six Thais in it ! Anything to save a satang or two !
Ok and finally, I watched 4 movies this weekend : She's out of my League, Machete, Knight and Day and Jonah Hex. Outta my League was mildly entertaining, same old tired plot, However, there were a couple of scenes that had me laughing my ass off. Because of those scenes, and the fact that Alice Eve is spakin' hot. B-, Then I watched Machete A+ . Made like the old 70's style action flicks. A GREAT role for Danny Trejo. The movie also has other notables such as Cheech Marin, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, and Don Johnson. I loved it in the same way as Raising Arizona. A lot of dark humor, and some slap-stick in the way of a machete. So I pressed my luck and watched Jonah Hex next. It was terrible ! The one bright spot, Megan Fox of course ! This one got a D-, would have been an F if Fox wasn't in it. Oh, one other thing, I find it amazing how much Josh and James Brolin look alike....Actually I think both their acting careers are in the shitter too. Finally, I watched Knight and Day, figured it couldn't be worse than Jonah Hex and this did have Cameron Diaz in it ! And some other guy, Tom something or another. Anyways, this movie made Jonah Hex look good. How many times can we take watching Mission Impossible ? Oh, wait, it wasn't Mission Impossible, it was just another movie where Cruise plays a super spy. Sorry Cameron, even you couldn't save this tired ass movie F-. Waste of free download space !
CYA !
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