Time to do some catching up

Well it has been awhile since I have written here, because life in Korea is mostly the same , same,same everyday.

Most recently. Our school had a sports day for the teachers. They do this once a month. This months sport was Ping Pong.....I could barely contain my excitement. Ummmm, let's see, I think last time I played I was around 12 or 13 at the Boys Club.....Yes that's right, the good old days before it became the Boys AND GIRLS club ! Anyways,we have around 25 teachers and 3 tables, yup it just gets more exciting by the moment. I played 1 game and beat the guy and they didn't ask me to play again. Sore losers, especially losing to a foreigners. Afterwards we go to dinner, Korean BBQ...Good stuff., Now this is on a Wednesday night, the school Principal brings in around 5-6 bottles of 17 year old scotch whiskey. Well we pounded that, not to mention soju and beer. Then we leave. I've had too much already, so I suggest we go to a Noraebang ( Karaoke room ) and it will be my treat. Big mistake. Around 8 of us go...I think, and I have no concept of time. The good thing is that the Karaoke is across the street from my house. Bad news, I get the bill and ign it and we head to another bar for more drinks. Really bad news....The bill was $800. Yowza !! Imported whiskey is expensive, and they drank 4 bottles and again countless beers and soju. So we go to the next bar and drink for a while and have a good time...Of course this time they're paying and it's $2 beer...bastards ! Well they leave and I hang around for a little longer, well actually until I was the last one there and they asked me if they could close. I said sure and walked across the street to my house...When I get there, I look around for the clock..5:30am ! Well shit on a stick, I am hammered and have to leave for work in 2 hours. So I decide it's best if I just stay awake. I shower and head into school. I tried pounding the coffee...but still drunk and tired. So I took my little pillow and laid my head down on my desk. I slept for 3 hours. I only woke up because the Vice Principal was standing beside me laughing at me. He asked if I was still drunk, and I just said hell yes....He said go back to sleep. Rough job !

My best Korean friend here owns a bar.....bad news. But for the most part, my drinking is curtailed til Friday and Saturday. Which before my son got here, I didn't even do that. Thanks asswipe !  lol The bar owner ( Jong) has a brother who does tattooing...more bad news ! Luckily again, I am limited to skin space ! Unfortunately, I have a month of vacation coming up with nothing to do...Hello Hard Rock Bar !

So, My contract finishes on Sept. 3rd, but it looks like they are going to let me take my 2 weeks vacation at the end of my contract so I can get out of here early. Ahhh, I've been dreaming of wonderful Bangkok.  The sights of the hot women, the sights of the drunk dudes with lady boys that think are chicks, the aroma's of deep fried bugs and BBQ rats...yes it taste just like chicken ! But if you have a ermm, quesy stomach, there are plenty of foreign restaurants to choose from.  I drink and eat like a total pig there. And lest I not forget the awesome and cheap massages ! I'm talking $30 and you're getting ripped off for a 2 hour massage....you better be paying more like $10 or $15 for an oil or aroma therapy massage.  Actually I think they only give me a massage for about 10 minutes, and I am pretty much dead asleep....then they come back with about 10 minutes left and wake me up...."you finishy now, showwa ?"   Ummm yeah.

And just to walk around and meet friendly people is so nice. you can sit down and start up a conversation with nearly anyone, unlike here in Korea where they look at you like you're a rabid monkey ! I've had Korean actually cross the street rather than walk past me. Women will switch their purses to the opposite side of me.  I digress, I should be talking about the pleasures of Thailand instead ! Although I am tempted to take another trip to the Philippines. Wow, easily the best English speaking country in Asia, with maybe the exception of Singapore, but is Singapore a city or country ? Is it like New York, New York ? So screw Singapore until they decide what they are....Sorry Singaporean buds !
Well I got them to let me have Monday the 4th off, so I think Kyle and I are going to seriously punish our bodies ! More specifically our livers and kidneys. but screw it, ya got one life, live it hard and fast and enjoy it for Christ's sake !  

  So I think that's about it for now. After my initial rage against the Korean system of everything, I have calmed down and wrote something decent about them.I am sure I will be writing at least 1 more time before heading to Thailand. I PROMISE I will take plenty of pics, even if I have to pay for them !

Party, fight, and weird Korean chicks

OK, So overall this was a fun weekend.  My son Kyle came up again. He brought along Pop Tarts, Beef Jerky, and Cap'n Crunch ! what a good son ! We went out Friday night, but nothing special. Then Saturday evening we went and got dinner a  new restaraunt in the hood. Meat was good , service was terrible. Plus all the kids in the place would run over to us and just stare at us. When you looked at them or said " Hi" they would take off running. So we made our way from there to the subway and went to a burb called Bupyeong. Went to go do a little bar hopping and "sight seeing." First place we wound up was a small little place called Woodstock. We each got a beer and they started playing Justin Beiber tunes. So we went out front and polished off the beers as we knew we were not going to get any "real" music there. Walked around for a little bit more....which is all good, cuz now the weather is warming up and the daisy dukes and mini, mini skirts are coming out. Oh, and one of the latest fashions is to wear short shorts or mini-skirts and then a shirt with tails or a top that hits the hips, so it covers the skirt and gives the appearance that they are only wearing a top and that's it. I can't say I don't like it !
So we walk by a bar called Who's Bar. The guys out front say they're having a party and foreigners are free. Kinda freaks me out at first cuz usually it's ladies free and we know why they do that ! Why are they letting us in free ???? Hmmm. We walk down the block a bit and not too much is happening,, so we decide to go back and give it a try.
The place is pretty nice. They are playing DJ music and there are  just the two of us and about 6 Korean girls. This was around 11pm, by 12 am there are about 20 girls and 5 guys. I told Kyle the numbers were good for him. It's rare to find a place like that that's not a total sausage fest !  Then Kyle says " hey isn't that your neighbor ?"  And I look over and sure as shit, there he is. Small world again.  Well, cutting through all the small crap of the evening.....we drank and danced and I noticed a K- girl moving in on Kyle more and more. I told him to go for it, she's a little hotty ! Her name is Amy and she is a Korean School teacher and speaks great Engrish. So after this things get more interesting ( well more fun for me.) Things are progressing Kyle is gettin' his groove on with her and I notice these three Korean guys coming up on them and trying their infamous cock blocking techniques. I move out on the floor and tell Kyle what they are doing and this one guy tries to physically pull her away from him. Wrong move bud ! Kyle keeps dancing with her, I slide between her and the Korean and give him a solid chest bump. He makes to go around me and this time my hand goes into his chest and I say "Back the fuck up man !" His 2 friends are like " oh shit !"  The guy comes back at me again saying what'd you say? what'd you say ??" Which was probably an honest question cuz he only understood "fuck" Now we are almost nose to nose and I'm saying "you heard me assclown" And now his buddies are obviously more sober than he is and they grab him and pull him back. Then they start apologizing to me. I just said it was no problem, but if I see him coming up on my son again, he's going down. He kept staring down Kyle the rest of the night, but never made a move back toward him again. Eventually I went over to him again, took his hand and shook it, and said just let it go. He says " But I like that girl" I asked if he knew her and he didn't, so I said you will just have to find something new.

OK, so that was taken care of, I go to the coed-can to take care of business. There is a girl in there and she is one of Amy's friends. I say " oh you ! My son likes you friend ! " She starts to tear me a new one in Korean. Seems she is angry cuz Kyle doesn't speak Korean and according to her, If you are living in Korea you must speak Korean. So even though I do speak a little Korean, I take this opportunity to speak absolutely NO Korean . There is one man's and one woman's stall behind us, I am standing in front of the urinal and her in front of the sink.So full house. Im listening to her go off ( and so is everyone  else coming in and out ) And I've had enough and put my hand in front of her face to shut her up for one second. Then I popped the question and most Koreans understand this. " So are you a lesbian with her or what ?" Well that sets her going off again.  This time I just hold up my pointer finger to her as to say one second, and I unzip my pants and whip it out and start using the pisser. She looks down at it and I say " Oh You aren't a lesbian ! " Then she starts again. I finish up, tell her whatever and walk out. It was fun. I told Kyle to watch her friends too  lol.
Then later this guy comes up to me and say " Oh ! you the guy who took his dick out in front of that bitchy girl ! " 

To finish, we end up leaving around 6am, we go to the subway station mac out and McD's and as we leave, these 2 Korean girls say Hi, and I say to Kyle, go talk with them . So we stroll over, talk for about an hour or so and they want to go get some pictures with us ?????? Ummmm OK whatever. We somehow wound up in a Karoke bar drinking more beer  and singing with them. Then I say Let's go ! They say picture, picture ! so we follow them to this place and it is closed, then we follow them to another place and go in and it's a restaurant and they start chowing down. This time I paid the bill ( they paid the beer and Karaoke) and we bailed on them ! Besides them being a little wasted the girl that would keep coming over to me would keep farting ! loud too ! Kyle was like " was that you Dad ? "  

Well I think we got back to the apartment about 10:30 or so. Interesting and fun weekend.

Oh and I'm not proof reading this so there might be a few mistakes. But if you don't like that, I'll just whip it out and piss in front of you too.
Peace out ! 

The Morgans rock Korea !



YES ! Kim Jeong Il is a rocker !



Well, another weekend spent with my son and this time one of his friends. We have found a cool bar that we go to..Hard Rock Cafe...yes, definite copyright infringements there. The owner is younger and speaks good English. He has a big monitor that he plays concert videos for us on. We request it and he puts it on. Between Kyle and I we have a pretty big knowledge base of music, or so we thought. This guys knows every band we ask for, from classic rock, to disco to death metal....It's unreal ! I have also come to believe that he is, or his father is Korean Mafia ! First off is the tattoos. Full sleeves and up on his neck. This is very odd for a Korean, they highly associate it with the mafia. Second thing, He owns this bar, ihs brother owns a tattoo parlor and a Noraebang (Karaoke bar.)  Third, he has traveled and lived abroad for awhile, hence the good English. Now to most westerners, this appears like no big deal, however in Korea, it is a big deal.  So this Saturday, he is going to close his bar and take us to his brothers tattoo shop, and then following that we are going to the "family" Noraebang. Then we will come back to his bar and he will re-open it.

This brings me to the Noraebang. Literal translation is singing room. They are copied after the Japanese ones. Kyle wasn't too keen on going to one the first time, but he's now hooked lol ! We usually spend 2 hours there.

You would truly be surprised at the fun you have there. 

Kyle is also workin' his moves. which isn't much, but he's diggin it...and no, not at the noraebang, but with Korean girls. from age 13 - 40 he looks at them, gets eye contact, then throws down a little smile or wave at them, which in turn throws the girl into hysterical giggling idiots. Now if he can get past that part and talk with one, it's possible that I could wind up a Grandfather.........Just kidding Mom !! He only has around 4-5  months left here...it would take that long to get a Korean to let you hold her hand !

Last week they both stayed in the apartment with us. With the pregnancy, Laila's sense of smell is 100 times greater than a bloodhound ! Bad news for the boys ! 3 of us in the apartment is just a bit too much testosterone ! Not to mention that Kyle just loves to cut loose while he sleeps ! Soon enough, it will just be me suffering through it ! She is headed back to Thailand on the 16th of this month. Gotta get a Thai Dr. to deal with.

Oh Yeah, I also took Kyle to Chinatown for a massage. A LEGITIMATE Chinese massage ! The painful foot part actually tickled him and he couldn't stop jumping around  lol. The women couldn't figure it out either. Sorry, no happy ending either  !

Well, I will post how this weekend goes. Maybe I will be able to pick up some side work whacking Koreans who are late on their gambling debts ! It could happen, ya never know !
I'm out.

Kyle and I tearing up Korea

Well, I am happy to announce that my son has temporarily been assigned to South Korea. He will be leaving here around September, the same time I do. Until then, beware all Koreans ! He is stationed about an hour south of me. After not seeing him for several years it is nice to do some catching up, although our first night of catching up involved a bit of over-indulgence ! I remember most of the night, up until around 3am when we left the bar, but after that I had to be filled in by him as to what happened. I know, I know he is only 20, but in Korea he is legally 21, he will actually be 21 on May 10th, and if he is old enough to serve his country and risk his life for his country, then he is old enough to have a drink ( or 20) with the old man !

The first time we met, I went down to the city to where he lived to show him where the buses were and how to get back to my place. I got a motel room for the night and then met him once he got off work. We went to Chili's on base for dinner.......Holy shit ! I had the most delicious American Ribeye steak there ! South Korea has banned the import of American beef as they are afraid they will catch mad cow disease. I say like Bill Shatner " I've already got the mad cow." So I just don't care ! Man I pounded that steak down !

After dropping our packs at the motel, we headed into the streets to find a place to sit down, have a couple of drinks and do some catching up. So many of the bars are thumping out this loud music....not my scene at all, especially for talking. So we find this quieter little sports bar with very few people and decide that is where we will start at........not knowing we will finish there also.

So we've both been working all day and a little burned out.....definately calls for Jager bombs to light the fire. They have a menu board with a ton of different shots on it. I think we ended up having about 1 of everything. Now neither one of us set out that night to get ripped. Just kinda one thing leading to another. Then this guy comes over and buys us a round of jager bombs and starts chatting, turns out he is from Portland Oregon as well. Small friggen world ! Well, over the course of the night, I lost track of how much we drank.....except for Kyle saying, "hurry up ! I'm 2 ahead of you ! "  The trips to the toilet became more and more dangerous as the night went on also. You had to use this side door, go through a hotel lobby, down an uneven and curving staircase and into a tiny litle broom closet which was converted into a toilet.

I remember the two of us chatting up the Korean girls working there and using their computer to put on the music we wanted. Then I paid the bill ( about $200 ) and Kyle informed me later that I tried to pay it twice ! I can be happy in the fact that Koreans are honest at least. You know, life ain't easy with the mad cow !

After we shut down the bar, Kyle still wanted to go somewhere else. we tried going into another bar and they told us no. I don't know if it was because they were closing or because Kyle was crawling up the stairs ! So we walked back out into the street. Kyle meets a few of his work buddies, I walk into Popeye's Chicken to use the toilet ( or so Kyle tells me, cuz I don't remember ever going into Popeye's....Mad Cow ! ) He procedes to order some chicken from a street vender, eats a few bites, gives it too his buddy and proceeds to puke in the middle of the street. It was at this point which the Military Police take notice of him. I walk out of Popeye's and see them all talking. They got his ID and saw he was 20 and slightly enibriated. I say it's ok, he is staying with me and we are at this hotel right here....which the hotel happened to be right next to us. The MP wanted to see my ID, so I showed him my Korean green card instead of my passport. He had no idea what it was ( it's all written in Korean with my photo) Then he asked for my Military ID. Because of the mad cow, I can't be sure of the exact wording, but it was something along the line of "pfffft ! You think the military wants me ? You think I could even pass the physical test ?" Then I gave a brief explanation that he was my son and it has been years since we saw each other and blah, blah, blah." I knew that there was absolutely nothing they could do to me as military law doesn't apply to me, but I also knew that if I was a real dickhead, they could make Kyles life hell. They had already made threats to take him to jail for underage drinking. Eventually they escorted us to the hotel, and mind you, not to the front door, but all the way INTO the room  lol. Kyle was given orders that he was not to leave the room for the next 8 hours.

So I crash out in one of the beds and turn on the TV. Kyle is sitting over at the desk using the computer. I watch some of the boob tube and drift off, only until my stomach wakes me up and says "DUDE< YOU GOTTA PUKE ! " So I sit up, Kyle is still on the comp and I go blow chunks in the toilet. Nice move, puking in front of your son ! Yup I can handle my booze LOL. Well I flop back onto the bed. I wake up in the morning.....well around 11 or 12 and need the bathroom. Kyle is crashed out in the other bed, but I find that he has carefully laid out a minefield of vomit between the beds and the bathroom. Now I don't feel so bad ! Well at least not until my bare foot gets  vomit mine hidden in the entry way ! Little bastard !  And there's puke in the bathroom ! not even close to the toilet ! At least in the front room, he tried to use a wastebasket to puke into ( even though 100% of it was next to it and 0% inside it ! )

Well I wake him up and we are both feeling like cattle headed to the slaughter house ( mad cow thing). He eats some Chinese food, I have no appetite. Go to the bus station and ride the bus to my place. We then proceed to do nothing but eat and sleep and watch movies for the rest of the weekend. He also got to spend a little quality time with his step-mom whom he had only met for a few hours before.

The massive drinking is out of the way now. Two weeks later he came back and we went to Seoul. Right now this blog is getting too long, so I will save that trip for the next time.

My wife is 14 weeks pregnant as of this writing. Next month she is going back to Thailand so that she can have a Thai Dr. take care of her. The language barrier is just too much here. She is due in Oct. and I will be moving back there permanently in Sept.
That's all for now.

Bangkok

Well allow me, if you may, to take you to a strange and wonderful place known as The Land of Smiles. I've written before about the charms and misadventures of country living. Know I will indulge you with the ......well, sleazier (fun) part.
This time I stayed right in the heart of the red light district. If you are a person who enjoys people watching, It simply can't be beat to find a place down on Sukhumvit Soi 4 to park your ass and watch everything that saunters, jiggles, gimps or strolls by.

For those of you who have never been to a place like this, it is quite a fascinating treat to behold.I know, I know, there are quite a few of you who's initial thought is that of disgust and pity. But desensitization is fairly simple after several years. Now to be clear, I am not promoting the "working girls." However it is a third world country where a college graduate at an entry level position will make around $300-$350 per month. A descent prostitute here can make $2000-4000 USD a month...You don't have to be in Casey's math classes to figure out the bottom line here. If I could make that kind of money in Thailand, I would be all over it, alas, there hasn't been much demand for overweight, bald, old guys yet, But I'm always keeping my ear to the street !!

So anywho, the wife and I will go and pick out a place in the middle of all the action. Usually an outdoor bar and grill that is covered to protect you from the sudden downpours. grab some drinks and grub, and then start one of our favorite games....Is it a man or woman ? Usually it will be clear who is right or wrong, but we always keep the waitress close by to settle any real disputes. The waitresses see these same people everyday, so they know. The next thing we try to figure out is if the guy who is with them knows "what " he is with.

The ladyboys can be a pushy lot. Very aggressive. Yes I speak from personal experience on the matter. They also don't care if you are with your wife or family, I've seen and been approached by Ladyboys while with my wife. One time this ladyboy steps in front of me, blocking my way. "Hey, where are you going?" Me .."well no where at the moment" her "You want some company ?" Me .."well I don't think my wife would like that"  MY WIFE>>>" No, it's ok, go ahead, I will wait" Of course she is joking, if it were a woman, she would almost certain say some sharp words to her...Since it's a ladyboy, she wants to see me struggle...bitch ! So the ladyboy" See your wife say ok, lets go !" Me.."Whoa whoa whoa !! sorry, but I like women." Her " But I am woman ! " at which point she grabs my hand and puts it on her ample silicon boobs ! Me "Sorry, they feel nice, but you're still a man, no can do !!" Then she made the fatal mistake and said, " I can be more woman than her" and pointed to my wife...Fun time had just come to a screeching halt !! The little lady grabbed me by the hand, said a few things in Thai to the ladyboy..who quickly backed up, then the wife said lets go. End of story  lol

So this last time when we are sitting at one of the bars, we are watching people and chatting up with other expats there. This guys is wheeled in by a pooying (young girl) in a wheelchair. He is obviously afflicted with something unpleasant and is paralyzed from the waist down....unfortunately his mouth wasn't paralyzed. Everything started off pleasant enough, but he was British with an attitude. When he found out I was American, he started spouting off. Blah blah blah...America is crap. He just came from Vegas apparently and dropped an assload of money. The last time I was in Vegas I came home about 10k richer. I couldn't wait to rub that in. So I didn't even address him, I told the other guys that were there about my luck. Well the gimp starts going off saying that I am full of shit. No one ever wins that much in Vegas...Game on ! I had already drank a few Jaeger-bombs and brewskies....So I wasn't going to hold back and be politically correct in my tirade on this guy. I remember starting off with something to the effect of " Listen up you gimp piece of shit." and mentioned a few things about how he carried himself around like the world owed him because he was in wheels. Every time he tried to stammer out a few words I cut him off with fun things like tea stained, crooked teeth , scone eating bastard and continued on. When I finished, the 5 or 6 other expats there started clapping lol ! My wife had no clue what I said because of too much slang and speaking too fast and when they clapped, she figured I said some pretty good stuff, even if it sounded angry in tone ! Now the guy is riled, but not much he can do except try to out insult me...Not a chance, I was rolling and told him he needs to cut his losses and head out . He actually did just that ! I also felt some vindication as two of the guys sitting there were also from England. They were laughing their asses off. Or I should say "arses?"

So wow, I just reread that stuff and I actually went way off point from what I wanted to write about ! Oh well, I guess that gives me more material to pull from next week !
"Be excellent to each other and party on dude !"

Back in the saddle again !

Well I took some much deserved time off and got out of this frozen wasteland ! I headed down to wonderful Thailand for 2 weeks. I need to catch up on my blogging, so I think I will share some about my trip.

Well I flew from Korea to Beijing on Air China. This was my first time flying with them and it was actually very pleasant. They had some smokin' hot stewardesses...or flight attendants...or whatever. The meal choice was duck or seafood and I don't eat seafood. On the other hand I had never eaten duck either. I may be well traveled and worldly, but my taste buds remain purely meat and potatoes. Well I tried the duck and it was actually delicious ! I was surprised for airplane food !  Now I know I will have to try it again in a real restaurant ! I also don't drink when flying either..dehydration and all.. But I went for the Yan Jing Beer. Had to try out the local beer. It was pretty good too. Would have been better if it were cold though. It is made with  Mineral water, malt,rice and hops.

From there it went downhill. I was dressed in shorts and a T-shirt with a light windbreaker. Well after the plane landed, we deboard out on the tarmac and have to walk over to a bus....The temperature is 3*F ! With the windchill I have no idea what it was ! Finally it fills up and the bus closes its' doors. We head over to the terminal, get off the bus and make another mad dash for the terminal. Finally make it inside and even though I am transferring, we all have to go through security and immigration checks again ! Damn Chinese took my lighters, but not the two books of matches sitting beside them ! So I make my way to the smoking room (After the Chinese decided I wasn't a super spy ) and it wasn't much bigger than a broom closet. It was shoulder to shoulder with people. I smoked 1/2 a cigarette and it felt like I had 5 of them...so I was out !
SOOO..after the layover, I go to the gate, and it's another bus ride to the plane DAMN ! Run, run, run !

Now this flight was not as nearly as nice as the first was. I was surprised that the flight was nearly 80%  crackers and not Asian. Well I guess that would be wrong because Russia is part of Asia after all. These people were Ukrainians, Croats, Lithuanians and who knows what else, But they were all white. I have to say, that's a little off putting ! The seat directly in front of me had this Russian chick with a baby that was about 3 months old and her parents next to her I assume. The woman's father was about 60 and kind of Santa Claus looking and for some bizarre reason, for the next four hours, he kept turning in his seat and staring directly at me......As soon as he would get my attention, he would flash a big cheesy smile and give me 2 thumbs up !?!?!? Uh-Yeah bud what the hell is that about. Why don't you better spend your time getting that stupid baby to stop wailing ! Which it literally did for the whole flight ! I kept looking out the window just praying to see Bill Shatner's gremlin tearing up the wing and engines.

It is all these flights that I take that remind me how lucky I am that someone invented the MP3 player ! I have about 1500 songs on mine, it keeps me content. Anywho, Arrive at Bangkok airport, zip thru customs and immigration, just carry-on baggage, and take the sky-train to the Red Light District Where I check into my hotel and fall asleep.

I will post the rest of time in Bangkok on my next blog
Sawadee Krup !

Naughty or Nice ?

Well, it's Christmas Eve, so time to make a naughty or nice list. Unlike Santa, I'm only going to check it once, and I don't really care which side you are on because as we all know, being naughty can sometimes be nice.
You may or may  not see your name on here. If you do see it, too bad for you. If you don't, nothing personal, I just could think of a reason to post with your name.

Naughty
1. Kim Jeong Il....Obvious choice. Dude looks like a cartoon and is hellbent on taking over the world.

Nice
1. My ex-wife Shirley Hislop Livingston Morgan Cockrell. She makes the list for not only being a great mother to my son, but for also being my best friend (whether or not she likes that part.)And being just an all around cool chick with a nice rack.

2. I guess since I said my ex-wife Shirley, I would be an idiot not to put my current wife's name here. Vilasinee Laila Singkam, What she lacks in English skill ( which is not much) she MORE than makes up for with Love. She is sweet and caring and it only took me 3 marriages to get here, but I AM here now.

Naughty
1. I will keep the ball rolling here and the next spot goes to my ex-wife #2. Time to clean out the closet I suppose. She was a psycho bitch, is a psycho bitch and will always be a psycho bitch....and that's sugar coating it !! For crying out loud, Within 3 months of our divorce being final, she was re-married and pregnant. All this while I was overseas, hmmmm. Naughty is a nice word.Evil, Trampy, or Twisted would have been better :)

2. My brother Jerry Calvin Morgan. The guy is a self-absorbed,greedy,inconsiderate little bitch. OK, 'nuff said :)

Nice
1. Barbie Lewman Santana. Definitely one of the most positive caring people I have ever met.  Didn't reconnect with her from high school until now on FB. She ALWAYS has positive and genuine post to me.  Barbie you're great and make the double good extra nice list !

Naughty
1.Renee King Jones Dittmer..Simply because you don't write me enough !  Yup, you can slip from good to bad, just that easily ! LOL This is simply fixed though BY WRITING TO ME ! Get on it ! Christmas is still a day away, you have time to swap lists ! mmmuuuaaahh

Nice
1 Craig Beam. Even though he sullied my sister's good name by marrying her. Wait, she didn't have a good name to sully. Craig is a lush and a way cool dude,a Star Wars geek and has a raging hard-on for Rod Serling. Ha hard-on and rod in the same sentence. Craig, you're a good husband, father and brother-in-law. You'll have to try harder to make the naughty list next year.

Naughty
1. Dan Vaughn...by special request, his own. I think if you want to be on the naughty list, that automatically qualifies you. Let's see, trolling the Beatles, not good. But then again, burning a chicks bra scores a point for the good side. Being way cooler now than in high school..point for the nice side. Uh-Oh, maybe you're on the wrong list....Wait, I've never seen you post anything about Asian chicks being WAYYYY hotter than Western broads ( yep I proudly use chicks and broads ! ) You lose and have earned your spot on the naughty list !

Nice
1 Anthony Bourdain...You just don't get any cooler than this dude. Brutal honesty is awesome
2 Beyonce Knowles....She could come to my place, shit all over the floor, torch my car, say how fat and ugly I am and still not make the naughty list ! She is a godess. The personality, the acting, the voice. I know she must have some Asian in her somewhere !!
3.Kanjana Gawboonruang..my best friend in WoW
4. Tiger Woods...Not only a golf stud, but a stud,stud also...All of you that pew pew him and don't like him are on my naughty list !

Naughty and Nice
This spot goes for my son. Kyle Garrett Morgan. Enough said

Naughty
The USA ! And I can say that because I'm American. You know the old saying "Love it or Leave it ." well I left it ! Sorry, but there is such a thing as too much freedom, and I suppose not many people can realize that until they've lived out of country for a signicant amount of time. Fu#*^@& Americans can just never seem to get enough ! Free speech, guns, money, politicians the economy..Everything is out of control From the ACLU to Green Peace and all you other bleeding heart bastards. You are ruining the country.

Nice
Thailand ! It is not without it's difficulties, however, I am always treated with respect and smiling faces. For the most part, cut and dry. Say bad things about the King..go to prison, bring in drugs...death penalty. Smile and treat people decently and get it back 10 fold !

Naughty
1 Everyone that uses Farmville. God forbid that I don't get on FB for a weekend. Then I caome back and I have like 100 FV request. Finally blocked FV !
2 All my Korean middle school boy students. You suck ass ! Yes there are somethings dumber than a sack of hammers ! For those of you who have never tried teaching to foreigners.....walk over to a wall, talk to it for 5 minutes and listen to the response. You might as well come here and teach.

Nice
All my Korean middle school girl students. At least at this age, girls are much more mature and willing to learn. They are "teachable." Also they love to over-inflate your ego ! Can't beat that !

Naughty
Jackie Tarantino..You know, we're not even FB friends, and I'm not even sure she is on FB or not. But on the off chance that she happens across this page.....She is a nasty, rude bitch. I've ran into her a couple times in Medford to only get the "snub." I know I should not hold a grudge...But a good grudge can really keep you going ! Jackie you're my pet grudge.

Nice
1 Every female that has T & A !!!! I've always been a breast man. Coming to Asia was a culture shock in the fact that the Big Boobie Lovers Club doesn't exist...Apparently the Itty Bitty Titty Committee won out here. Also, I was never really an "Ass man " But living in Korea, you begin to miss the things you no longer have! Very few Korean have that sweet ass factor ! The vast majority have a very flat ass ! So you truly learn to appreciate them when you see them ! Thank god Thais don't have the same problem !

2 My sister Teresa Beam. While my brother is an asshole, my sister is the best ! I don't mean best asshole either ! She always takes care of any business I need done back in the U.S. and never complains about it ( at least not to me ! ) Teresa make Craig buy you some jewelry this year instead of a beer from MacMennamins ! HAHA

3.Lisa Mandel Oliewssiewwiksky   Yep, Im too lazy to look up how to spell your name even though it would take two seconds. I don't think I could say it even if it was right there in front of my face. Well, back in the beginning, you were on the naughty list. But now, as with most people (except myself) you have matured nicely. You are a true and loyal friend to Shirley and that's good enough for me to make the nice list !

OK Now for just a list of names with no reason
Nice
Sherri Moffit-Winfree , Donna Draper   ,   Shelley Davies Mickel ,  Casey Gibbs,  Bill Lowe and family,  Julee Whaley - Baida,  The Loys

Naughty
Well pretty much the rest of you for not keeping in touch LOL.

This was fun and I hope you all take it that way also !
Feliz Navidad

Manners- Try being polite asshole !

Well I have decided that the world would be a better place if everyone adopted the same set of manners. I know, I know, you are expected to conform to the culture of the country you are in, but I think rude is rude no matter where you go.

So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.

1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.

2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.

3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !

4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat.  Enough said.

5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !

6. OK,  people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't.  I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.

7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.

8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !

9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.

10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !

Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !

Shanghai

Ok, so talking with my friend Barbie, I was reminded of my trip to Shanghai. So I thought it would be appropriate here..duh !

This is a picture of me at the waterfront in the Pudong District. Behind me is their equivelent of the Space needle. Everyone is preparing for the next night which will be the beginning of the Chinese New Year.

 Pretty much all of Asia celebrates Chinese New Year. For some it is just a few days off, for Chinese it is much different. I honestly can't tell you too much about it...The spirit of Chairman Mao might come to haunt me ! "Aahhhh....ancient Chinese tradition...You foreign man..you no spread our ways to the West !!" Yeah, whatever, got a fortune cookie ? Anyways, back on point, one of the main reasons for everyone setting off firecrackers and fireworks is to scare those pesky evil spirits away. C'mon now, really ? Loud noises scare away the boogeyman ?  My neighbor must have ghost in his apartment cuz the assclown is ALWAYS slamming his door ! 

So...this is a picture of one of the many,many , MANY street venders selling off handgrenades in a can. Did I mention that there are many of these stalls ? These will all be set off in front of their houses and their businesses. And this will go on ALL night long !

 

 



It's more like a controlled burn !

When you wake up , assuming you got to sleep in the first place...the fireworks will still be going on ! It leaves quite a mess. I was walking in the street in at least ankle deep, red paper, everywhere I went.








Well moving along. This was a nice trip, but not the most pleasant one. I went with my boss and some Korean co-workers and some of their friends.  A big no no I have learned. Koreans are very anal about their time. Everything is planned right down to what time to have a bowel movement...Sound funny ? I'm serious  on that one ! And of course they have a tourguide who only speaks Korean and Chinese. After half a day of not knowing what the hell is going on..I tell them I am jumping ship and striking out on my own. Nothing has really changed..I still don't know what the hell is going on, or where the hell I'm at....but at least I don't have to listen to someone yammering away in Korean !



I was very lost, but I managed to stumble into a few places like this



And this place too. It was part of a big market place. A couple of years later I saw this place again....In the Movie the Fantastic 4 haha

 



And then a few stilt walkers. There are ALL kinds of festivities going on like this everywhere !

 And then one of the most blessed site I had ever seen !!!

A classic example of East meets West

So the food was ok. The main problem was the ordering of it. No one in the place spoke any English. I was pointing at the board behind them, trying to make them understand what I wanted. I have no idea why, but they could just not figure it out ! So me, being the nice abrasive white guy from America, walked behind their counter, and put my hand on the Quarterpounder with Cheese picture...slapped it 2 times...then showed them 2 fingers...then pointed to myself.....rinse and repeat. They finally got that I wanted two of them...and I think they were apologizing for not understanding, and then they only charged me for one, not two. Score for me ! Saved like $1 US !

Well aside from getting plenty of cheap massages that was pretty much the highlights of my trip.

Taxi drivers are crazy...Thay will laugh at you if you put on your seatbelt in their car. Also most drivers are encased in a Plexiglass type window. If you're in the back seat or the front passenger seat, you can't touch them because of the barrier. You slip your money thru a little slip.

Shanghai is a massively sprawled out city. I found out the hard way. Not much English anywhere, so it is difficult using public transportation. I grabbed up brochures and business cards at the hotel and would show the drivers where I wanted to go.

The massages are good and cheap...but nowhere close to the quality of a Thai massage..I guess I may be too spoiled. And speaking of which, next month I will be back in Thailand enjoying the afore mentioned massages and living the easy live out of this cold snowy crap !

Hasta Luego !

T





More random rants

To start with, this first random rant goes out to the movie Clerks II. They have a argument as to whether it is OK to go ass to mouth. Well here in Korea I go ass to mouth all the time ! Wait, maybe I should explain that a little better. When I ride the bus to and from work, I like to sit in a seat, not stand the whole way (go figure.) The seats on most buses sit two people, and are very close to the row in front of them, very little leg room and a tight squeeze for someone like me to get to the window. So when I get on the bus, I will see all these Koreans move over from the window to the aisle seat, presuming that I won't sit with them. I always try to keep an eye out for the first person I see that moves, then I make a bee-line for them. Of course they won't slide over to the window, so I cram past them and I always bend over a little more than is needed so my ass goes right in their face.....and I'm not talking close, I'm talking my ass actually hitting them in the face !!  LOL It's a fun thing to do now ! And the coup-de-grace is when I can actually cut one loose at the same moment. PRICELESS ! Of course they don't say a single word, or even look at me for that matter. And if I get on the bus again and see the same person, they tend to either move to the window or stand up. Ahhhh, sometimes it truly pays to be rude.

 Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok  special price for you, I give you ham for $39.  Haha, I just walked out.

Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!

Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่

It's all about the kids.

Well some things are difficult to get accustomed to. But many things are easy to get desensitised to. Back in the US everything is about being politically correct , Asia is more along the lines of "politically what ?"



Very common to see Asians wearing shirts like these. They have no idea what it says, it's just English.



Here is just a short list of what I hear from students in class everyday. If a kid is overweight, even just slightly, the students all say" He's a pig" or " he's a fatboy." If a student has a darker complexion " he's black, he's negro" or "he's country boy."  When a student is not so smart....well I should say when a student is dumber than the other dummies they say " he's stupid" or " he handicap boy."  And then there are the stupidest kids of all, the athletes. No GPA stuff here for student athletes. They are basically recruited in middle school to attend the best High Schools and then best Universities from there. Most of them only attend 1/2 days of school and leave to go practice the other half. I swear to God that these kids actually try to not learn anything. Anyways, when I ask a question to an athlete, the students all say " he baseball player" or wrestler or soccer or whatever sport and the athlete just sits and stares at me like I am from Mars.

I remember asking my co-teacher why they all call the fat kids piggy and so on. The teachers response was"because he is fat ! Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up for me, I wasn't sure. For the first 2 years at this school, we had a mentally retarded boy...all the students would tell me he stupid, he handicap boy. Now, the students being called these names are used to it. It is blatant and continuous from Kindergarten through University level. They don't take it as an insult, it is just a mater of fact. But the kids that they call country boys or black, get very upset. Being a country boy....this means that your skin is dark because you are poor, you have had to work on the farm picking rice or whatever. Your family is poor and you are stupid. That is not only Koreans, but true for most all of Asia. They truly treasure white skin. They think we are nuts for laying in the sun or doing the fake and bake thing.

Girls here are much smarter than boys of equal age. For the most part, they hit puberty sooner and start maturing quicker. I don't think some of these boys actually hit puberty until about 25 or so ! When I taught at an all girls school, it was much nicer. They did their homework, they spoke English better and their grades mattered to them. Boys simply don't give a shit. For the most part, they are all polite to me - the bows and good morning sir or hello Terry teacher. But there are always the trouble makers.



My first job in Korea was in a small town. I used to walk by these high school kids almost everyday. They would inevitably say something derogatory and in quiet voices when I would go by. Well one day, one of them decides he has grown a pair and says loudly to me "f*ck you." I take about 1/2 a second to spin around and grab the closest kid by the shirt collar. I lifted him off his feet and against the wall and yell loudly "What the f*ck did you say ?" HAHAHA he starts crying. I drop him down and turn to the other boys......they were gone...up and vanished like a fart in the wind ! Needless to say, they NEVER said another word to me again. As a matter of fact, most times when they would see me coming, they would leave. HAHA, Lesson learned ! The ironic part was that these kids could have probably kicked my ass. Most Koreans learn Tae Kwondo at sometime. But I think that because so many know it, they all assume that everyone else knows it too. They watch too much WWE and UFC.

Another thing. Usually on the bus, when an old person or pregnant woman get on, I will stand up and give up my seat. Korean kids are supposed to do this, but they only do it if they get caught. What I mean by that is this : The bus pulls up to a bus stop, and almost in unison, you can see all their heads go down like they are asleep. This way they can ignore who is getting on the bus. Then after the bus starts moving again the miraculously wake up again, at least until the next stop. Sometimes they do get caught though. Maybe they are on their cell phone when the bus stops, maybe they are talking with their friend. And my personal favorite is when the old man will whack them on the head and tell them to move ! 

Well, that's all for now. More to follow soon

Terry

A change of pace

Well, even though I could continue to blast Korea (they are such an easy target) I think will go to Thailand today.
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could  be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a  subconsciencous  level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.

Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got  married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !

OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !

Instead of The Asian Way, maybe this should have been Diary of a Madman !

Well, today you will probably get a lot of incoherent ramblings of  a cracker in a non-cracker world. I just happen to be in one of those "special" moods where I feel like kickin' someones ass. Alas ! I still have a shred of common sense though and would rather not spend any time in a foreign country.

Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE !  As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !!  So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.

So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking  "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???

It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.

And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !"  I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.

Well, sleep on that all.
Cya

Easy reading....like a Playboy, lots of pics

Well, right now I am too tired to properly write out a blog. So I'm going to post some pics of things that continue to boggle the old noggin  here in Korea..Oh and a few from Thailand.

It's a progressively spicier menu



Is it any real wonder why I can't figure out what to eat here ?





 

 

Doesn't really make me feel that thirsty !





Please don't feed the Korean machinery !



Not only is it clean, it's BLUE !



I know you women relate to this one.and apparently so does the University





This is in Thailand, trust me, pay the extra for the VIP Room !



OK This is on a ton of cars here...I have know idea what the hell they are talking about...But then again, neither do they





So, having a little problem are we ?

So there you have it. Just a touch of what is out there. This doesn't include all the shirts I see EVERYDAY ! They have no clue what they say. They just like the color.