Well, it's Christmas Eve, so time to make a naughty or nice list. Unlike Santa, I'm only going to check it once, and I don't really care which side you are on because as we all know, being naughty can sometimes be nice.
You may or may not see your name on here. If you do see it, too bad for you. If you don't, nothing personal, I just could think of a reason to post with your name.
Naughty
1. Kim Jeong Il....Obvious choice. Dude looks like a cartoon and is hellbent on taking over the world.
Nice
1. My ex-wife Shirley Hislop Livingston Morgan Cockrell. She makes the list for not only being a great mother to my son, but for also being my best friend (whether or not she likes that part.)And being just an all around cool chick with a nice rack.
2. I guess since I said my ex-wife Shirley, I would be an idiot not to put my current wife's name here. Vilasinee Laila Singkam, What she lacks in English skill ( which is not much) she MORE than makes up for with Love. She is sweet and caring and it only took me 3 marriages to get here, but I AM here now.
Naughty
1. I will keep the ball rolling here and the next spot goes to my ex-wife #2. Time to clean out the closet I suppose. She was a psycho bitch, is a psycho bitch and will always be a psycho bitch....and that's sugar coating it !! For crying out loud, Within 3 months of our divorce being final, she was re-married and pregnant. All this while I was overseas, hmmmm. Naughty is a nice word.Evil, Trampy, or Twisted would have been better :)
2. My brother Jerry Calvin Morgan. The guy is a self-absorbed,greedy,inconsiderate little bitch. OK, 'nuff said :)
Nice
1. Barbie Lewman Santana. Definitely one of the most positive caring people I have ever met. Didn't reconnect with her from high school until now on FB. She ALWAYS has positive and genuine post to me. Barbie you're great and make the double good extra nice list !
Naughty
1.Renee King Jones Dittmer..Simply because you don't write me enough ! Yup, you can slip from good to bad, just that easily ! LOL This is simply fixed though BY WRITING TO ME ! Get on it ! Christmas is still a day away, you have time to swap lists ! mmmuuuaaahh
Nice
1 Craig Beam. Even though he sullied my sister's good name by marrying her. Wait, she didn't have a good name to sully. Craig is a lush and a way cool dude,a Star Wars geek and has a raging hard-on for Rod Serling. Ha hard-on and rod in the same sentence. Craig, you're a good husband, father and brother-in-law. You'll have to try harder to make the naughty list next year.
Naughty
1. Dan Vaughn...by special request, his own. I think if you want to be on the naughty list, that automatically qualifies you. Let's see, trolling the Beatles, not good. But then again, burning a chicks bra scores a point for the good side. Being way cooler now than in high school..point for the nice side. Uh-Oh, maybe you're on the wrong list....Wait, I've never seen you post anything about Asian chicks being WAYYYY hotter than Western broads ( yep I proudly use chicks and broads ! ) You lose and have earned your spot on the naughty list !
Nice
1 Anthony Bourdain...You just don't get any cooler than this dude. Brutal honesty is awesome
2 Beyonce Knowles....She could come to my place, shit all over the floor, torch my car, say how fat and ugly I am and still not make the naughty list ! She is a godess. The personality, the acting, the voice. I know she must have some Asian in her somewhere !!
3.Kanjana Gawboonruang..my best friend in WoW
4. Tiger Woods...Not only a golf stud, but a stud,stud also...All of you that pew pew him and don't like him are on my naughty list !
Naughty and Nice
This spot goes for my son. Kyle Garrett Morgan. Enough said
Naughty
The USA ! And I can say that because I'm American. You know the old saying "Love it or Leave it ." well I left it ! Sorry, but there is such a thing as too much freedom, and I suppose not many people can realize that until they've lived out of country for a signicant amount of time. Fu#*^@& Americans can just never seem to get enough ! Free speech, guns, money, politicians the economy..Everything is out of control From the ACLU to Green Peace and all you other bleeding heart bastards. You are ruining the country.
Nice
Thailand ! It is not without it's difficulties, however, I am always treated with respect and smiling faces. For the most part, cut and dry. Say bad things about the King..go to prison, bring in drugs...death penalty. Smile and treat people decently and get it back 10 fold !
Naughty
1 Everyone that uses Farmville. God forbid that I don't get on FB for a weekend. Then I caome back and I have like 100 FV request. Finally blocked FV !
2 All my Korean middle school boy students. You suck ass ! Yes there are somethings dumber than a sack of hammers ! For those of you who have never tried teaching to foreigners.....walk over to a wall, talk to it for 5 minutes and listen to the response. You might as well come here and teach.
Nice
All my Korean middle school girl students. At least at this age, girls are much more mature and willing to learn. They are "teachable." Also they love to over-inflate your ego ! Can't beat that !
Naughty
Jackie Tarantino..You know, we're not even FB friends, and I'm not even sure she is on FB or not. But on the off chance that she happens across this page.....She is a nasty, rude bitch. I've ran into her a couple times in Medford to only get the "snub." I know I should not hold a grudge...But a good grudge can really keep you going ! Jackie you're my pet grudge.
Nice
1 Every female that has T & A !!!! I've always been a breast man. Coming to Asia was a culture shock in the fact that the Big Boobie Lovers Club doesn't exist...Apparently the Itty Bitty Titty Committee won out here. Also, I was never really an "Ass man " But living in Korea, you begin to miss the things you no longer have! Very few Korean have that sweet ass factor ! The vast majority have a very flat ass ! So you truly learn to appreciate them when you see them ! Thank god Thais don't have the same problem !
2 My sister Teresa Beam. While my brother is an asshole, my sister is the best ! I don't mean best asshole either ! She always takes care of any business I need done back in the U.S. and never complains about it ( at least not to me ! ) Teresa make Craig buy you some jewelry this year instead of a beer from MacMennamins ! HAHA
3.Lisa Mandel Oliewssiewwiksky Yep, Im too lazy to look up how to spell your name even though it would take two seconds. I don't think I could say it even if it was right there in front of my face. Well, back in the beginning, you were on the naughty list. But now, as with most people (except myself) you have matured nicely. You are a true and loyal friend to Shirley and that's good enough for me to make the nice list !
OK Now for just a list of names with no reason
Nice
Sherri Moffit-Winfree , Donna Draper , Shelley Davies Mickel , Casey Gibbs, Bill Lowe and family, Julee Whaley - Baida, The Loys
Naughty
Well pretty much the rest of you for not keeping in touch LOL.
This was fun and I hope you all take it that way also !
Feliz Navidad
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Manners- Try being polite asshole !
Well I have decided that the world would be a better place if everyone adopted the same set of manners. I know, I know, you are expected to conform to the culture of the country you are in, but I think rude is rude no matter where you go.
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
So in no particular order I will give you a list that will make this rock we live on a better place. Many of these we already practice back in America, and i believe for good reason. Afterall, we are the "melting pot." Many of our manners come from different origins.
1. When coughing or sneezing, you should always cover your mouth, or at least turn your head. Here in Korea, rarely is there given any though to doing that. I can't count the number of times that I have been on the bus and have someone cough or sneeze on the back of my neck...nice right ? I would turn around and say something, but first they wouldn't understand me and second, I would be afraid of getting it in the face ! They will also cough right in your face if you are talking directly to them.
2. No farting in public ! Please reserve this for your alone time. I think here they actually get off on seeing who can have their fart smell the most like Kimchi ! Seriously ! I have been teaching class and some student will just rip one off. Nobody around him is even phased. If you did that back home in middle school, you would have grown up always being known as the fart kid or assclown or some nice stigma like that ! So please, just don't do it.
3. Don't tell others how they should eat their food. Let them enjoy it the way they like. Korean Barbeque....they give you the raw meat and you cook it over a fire at your table. Nice right ? Well I like my meat well done here ( back home medium is nice.) I also like a little char on the meat. Well here, the waitress will come over to your table and try to cut off any char..."no,no..that bedy bedy bad for you....it make you have cancer." HEY ! hands off....I've been smoking for 30 years now ( I know, not good) and knock on wood, no cancer yet...I really don't think a little charred meat a couple times a week is going to give me cancer..So let people enjoy their food to their taste. And as mentioned previously, rules 1 and 2 both apply !
4.When you are using public transportation, always get up and let the old or pregnant people have your seat. Enough said.
5. Hold the door open for others. Here,they only hold the door open for family and people they know. If they don't know you, be ready for that swinging door to slam in your face ! I ALWAYS look behind me to see if someone is close, and if so, I wait 1 second and hold the door for them. Koreans will just push the door open and never look back...sometimes even push it closed !
6. OK, people always say if you're going to live in America, then learn the damn language. It is also known that English is the international language. So EVERYONE should learn English. One world language, how simple would that be ! As developed as Korea is, their English is...well actually it isn't...just isn't. I mentioned before how I went to a tourist information booth, but no one spoke English D'oh ! The landlord at my first condo had a Master's degree in English Literature. Couldn't speak a word of English, what the hell is that about ??? You have a hard time finding English signage here. You go to Thailand, and it is like America..almost all signs are in English and Thai ( English and Spanish in America.) Although less so in the country and smaller villages. Even China is working on their country learning the language. Their leaders feel that if their people can master English, then they will master the world ! Kinda scary.
7. Picking your nose when talking to someone is NOT ok. Not just a Korean thing, more of an Asian thing. It's pretty distracting to watch someone doing this when you are trying to talk with them.
8. Keep your mouth closed when you eat and do not talk with your mouth full. I have been into these noodle shops here and the noodles are actually served boiling. Now I prefer to wait a bit and let it cool down. Then take a spoonful and softly blow on it. Alas, I am the fool because apparently I am not getting the full flavor of my noodles. They grab up some of them and loudly slurp them up into their gullets ! I have turned around and walked out of shops that are 1/2 full because I can't stand 15-20 people all slurping at the same time !
9. No Spitting in public ! Everyone from 6 year old girls to 80 year old women do it here. And while I'm at it, no puking or pissing in public. Korean seems to be one giant toilet. I literally walk with my eyes on the ground to avoid piss, puke and spit pools ! It is not uncommon to see a man in the middle of the afternoon, standing there just pissing on a wall. For Pete's sake man ! Of course there is something to be said for convenience.
10. Littering. PUT IN THE DAMN TRASH CAN ! Koreans think nothing of just throwing their trash anywhere. You're walking behind some people eating ice cream, when they finish, they just throw it on the ground. Not one iota of guilt ! Thailand is much more like America. You get fined for littering. You can smoke anywhere, but don't let the cops see you throw that butt on the ground !
Well I'm finish preaching. If everyone would just show a little common courtesy towards others, maybe it would be a better place. But until then, piss off !
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Shanghai
Ok, so talking with my friend Barbie, I was reminded of my trip to Shanghai. So I thought it would be appropriate here..duh !
This is a picture of me at the waterfront in the Pudong District. Behind me is their equivelent of the Space needle. Everyone is preparing for the next night which will be the beginning of the Chinese New Year.
Pretty much all of Asia celebrates Chinese New Year. For some it is just a few days off, for Chinese it is much different. I honestly can't tell you too much about it...The spirit of Chairman Mao might come to haunt me ! "Aahhhh....ancient Chinese tradition...You foreign man..you no spread our ways to the West !!" Yeah, whatever, got a fortune cookie ? Anyways, back on point, one of the main reasons for everyone setting off firecrackers and fireworks is to scare those pesky evil spirits away. C'mon now, really ? Loud noises scare away the boogeyman ? My neighbor must have ghost in his apartment cuz the assclown is ALWAYS slamming his door !
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| It's more like a controlled burn ! |
Well moving along. This was a nice trip, but not the most pleasant one. I went with my boss and some Korean co-workers and some of their friends. A big no no I have learned. Koreans are very anal about their time. Everything is planned right down to what time to have a bowel movement...Sound funny ? I'm serious on that one ! And of course they have a tourguide who only speaks Korean and Chinese. After half a day of not knowing what the hell is going on..I tell them I am jumping ship and striking out on my own. Nothing has really changed..I still don't know what the hell is going on, or where the hell I'm at....but at least I don't have to listen to someone yammering away in Korean !
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| I was very lost, but I managed to stumble into a few places like this |
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And this place too. It was part of a big market place. A couple of years later I saw this place again....In the Movie the Fantastic 4 haha |
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| And then a few stilt walkers. There are ALL kinds of festivities going on like this everywhere ! |
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| A classic example of East meets West So the food was ok. The main problem was the ordering of it. No one in the place spoke any English. I was pointing at the board behind them, trying to make them understand what I wanted. I have no idea why, but they could just not figure it out ! So me, being the nice abrasive white guy from America, walked behind their counter, and put my hand on the Quarterpounder with Cheese picture...slapped it 2 times...then showed them 2 fingers...then pointed to myself.....rinse and repeat. They finally got that I wanted two of them...and I think they were apologizing for not understanding, and then they only charged me for one, not two. Score for me ! Saved like $1 US ! Well aside from getting plenty of cheap massages that was pretty much the highlights of my trip. Taxi drivers are crazy...Thay will laugh at you if you put on your seatbelt in their car. Also most drivers are encased in a Plexiglass type window. If you're in the back seat or the front passenger seat, you can't touch them because of the barrier. You slip your money thru a little slip. Shanghai is a massively sprawled out city. I found out the hard way. Not much English anywhere, so it is difficult using public transportation. I grabbed up brochures and business cards at the hotel and would show the drivers where I wanted to go. The massages are good and cheap...but nowhere close to the quality of a Thai massage..I guess I may be too spoiled. And speaking of which, next month I will be back in Thailand enjoying the afore mentioned massages and living the easy live out of this cold snowy crap ! Hasta Luego ! T |
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
More random rants
To start with, this first random rant goes out to the movie Clerks II. They have a argument as to whether it is OK to go ass to mouth. Well here in Korea I go ass to mouth all the time ! Wait, maybe I should explain that a little better. When I ride the bus to and from work, I like to sit in a seat, not stand the whole way (go figure.) The seats on most buses sit two people, and are very close to the row in front of them, very little leg room and a tight squeeze for someone like me to get to the window. So when I get on the bus, I will see all these Koreans move over from the window to the aisle seat, presuming that I won't sit with them. I always try to keep an eye out for the first person I see that moves, then I make a bee-line for them. Of course they won't slide over to the window, so I cram past them and I always bend over a little more than is needed so my ass goes right in their face.....and I'm not talking close, I'm talking my ass actually hitting them in the face !! LOL It's a fun thing to do now ! And the coup-de-grace is when I can actually cut one loose at the same moment. PRICELESS ! Of course they don't say a single word, or even look at me for that matter. And if I get on the bus again and see the same person, they tend to either move to the window or stand up. Ahhhh, sometimes it truly pays to be rude.
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
Speaking of which, sometimes it is just the opposite. Take yesterday for example. There is a little market that I sometimes shop at which sells foreign food . I walk in and the owner is standing behind me and his wife is over on the far side of the shop. This guy is less than 2 feet behind me, and just lets one rip....not a little squeaker ,whoops kinda one, but a full blown shake the ground fart. He doesn't move, doesn't say excuse me, nothing. And it is a very unpleasant one to say the least. So I move away....and he follows me ! The shop used to have prices on all of their food, now it is only on about 25% of it. So he is always changing the price of things on me, sometimes higher, sometimes lower. So I ask how much a small can of Hormel baked ham is...$40 he says ! I was angry about the fart and so so I told him, " If you don't have a price marked on your shit, then I'm not going to buy it." He says, no no price same same. I replied " Forget it, I'm not shopping here at all anymore until you price everything, and I'm telling all the other foreigners I know to do the same ." He says ok,ok special price for you, I give you ham for $39. Haha, I just walked out.
Here's another random item. A friend and I went to do a bit of drinking and Karaoke (fun stuff.) We go into this place and I ask to see the music book, just to make sure there is a decent English selection. The guy starts babbling "Espanol, Espanol" I said no, we don't want Spanish music. Then he say " Habla Usted Espanol ?"
At first it doesn't click to me. Then I realize he is asking if I speak Spanish ! so I try si lo hago ( yes I do ) So I end up talking in Spanish with this guy for almost an hour. He didn't speak any English and My Korean is shit. He lived 7 years in Mexico selling clothing ! Odd that I have to travel to Asia to practice my Spanish !
Era barra libre toda la noche! Fantastico !!
Well next month I will be heading to Thailand again for vacation, via Beijing. Winter is shitty here, so the tropics will be nice. I plan on taking a lot of pics of some of the more "different" types of Thai culture. I imagine I will have to edit out the more offensive pics so I don't offend too many people haha. Gotta keep the reader base up !
That's it for now
Adios Amigos !
เทอร์รี่
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It's all about the kids.
Well some things are difficult to get accustomed to. But many things are easy to get desensitised to. Back in the US everything is about being politically correct , Asia is more along the lines of "politically what ?"
Another thing. Usually on the bus, when an old person or pregnant woman get on, I will stand up and give up my seat. Korean kids are supposed to do this, but they only do it if they get caught. What I mean by that is this : The bus pulls up to a bus stop, and almost in unison, you can see all their heads go down like they are asleep. This way they can ignore who is getting on the bus. Then after the bus starts moving again the miraculously wake up again, at least until the next stop. Sometimes they do get caught though. Maybe they are on their cell phone when the bus stops, maybe they are talking with their friend. And my personal favorite is when the old man will whack them on the head and tell them to move !
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| Very common to see Asians wearing shirts like these. They have no idea what it says, it's just English. |
Here is just a short list of what I hear from students in class everyday. If a kid is overweight, even just slightly, the students all say" He's a pig" or " he's a fatboy." If a student has a darker complexion " he's black, he's negro" or "he's country boy." When a student is not so smart....well I should say when a student is dumber than the other dummies they say " he's stupid" or " he handicap boy." And then there are the stupidest kids of all, the athletes. No GPA stuff here for student athletes. They are basically recruited in middle school to attend the best High Schools and then best Universities from there. Most of them only attend 1/2 days of school and leave to go practice the other half. I swear to God that these kids actually try to not learn anything. Anyways, when I ask a question to an athlete, the students all say " he baseball player" or wrestler or soccer or whatever sport and the athlete just sits and stares at me like I am from Mars.
I remember asking my co-teacher why they all call the fat kids piggy and so on. The teachers response was"because he is fat ! Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up for me, I wasn't sure. For the first 2 years at this school, we had a mentally retarded boy...all the students would tell me he stupid, he handicap boy. Now, the students being called these names are used to it. It is blatant and continuous from Kindergarten through University level. They don't take it as an insult, it is just a mater of fact. But the kids that they call country boys or black, get very upset. Being a country boy....this means that your skin is dark because you are poor, you have had to work on the farm picking rice or whatever. Your family is poor and you are stupid. That is not only Koreans, but true for most all of Asia. They truly treasure white skin. They think we are nuts for laying in the sun or doing the fake and bake thing.
Girls here are much smarter than boys of equal age. For the most part, they hit puberty sooner and start maturing quicker. I don't think some of these boys actually hit puberty until about 25 or so ! When I taught at an all girls school, it was much nicer. They did their homework, they spoke English better and their grades mattered to them. Boys simply don't give a shit. For the most part, they are all polite to me - the bows and good morning sir or hello Terry teacher. But there are always the trouble makers.
My first job in Korea was in a small town. I used to walk by these high school kids almost everyday. They would inevitably say something derogatory and in quiet voices when I would go by. Well one day, one of them decides he has grown a pair and says loudly to me "f*ck you." I take about 1/2 a second to spin around and grab the closest kid by the shirt collar. I lifted him off his feet and against the wall and yell loudly "What the f*ck did you say ?" HAHAHA he starts crying. I drop him down and turn to the other boys......they were gone...up and vanished like a fart in the wind ! Needless to say, they NEVER said another word to me again. As a matter of fact, most times when they would see me coming, they would leave. HAHA, Lesson learned ! The ironic part was that these kids could have probably kicked my ass. Most Koreans learn Tae Kwondo at sometime. But I think that because so many know it, they all assume that everyone else knows it too. They watch too much WWE and UFC.
Well, that's all for now. More to follow soon
Terry
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A change of pace
Well, even though I could continue to blast Korea (they are such an easy target) I think will go to Thailand today.
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a subconsciencous level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.
Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !
OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !
In Thailand, as I have mentioned before, 95% of all Thais are Buddhist. What I did not mention was the fact that Thailand also has a mandatory military service requirement for all men. They do have a choice however. If they decide to become a monk for...hmmm I think it's either 1 or 2 years, then they don't have to join the military. This could be a reason for so many monks. While many do use this as a way out of their duty, many also do it because that's what they want. You can imagine the things we would say about them back in the good ole U.S. of A. But Thais truly respect this decision, whether it's a calling or a draft dodging measure, doesn't matter.
Monks are not allowed to touch women, and vice versa. Certain things are funny, well to me at least. Like if a woman is going to give a monk a donation. The monk will usually hold out a towel or plate that they can put the money onto, never directly hand something to a monk. Also, when you go to temple, most times they monk will take a piece of string and tie it around your wrist. This is like a blessing kind of thing. When my wife and I go to temple, the monk will tie my string on my wrist and then give me a second one to tie on my wife's wrist.
I have made my share of mistakes with temples. with each mistake I can expect a light smack from my little 4'10 wife ! Hmmmm.. maybe on a subconsciencous level I am making these mistakes on purpose ! Come to think about it , I get smacked when we are in town, temple, at school or with the police. Home is the only safe place ! lol.
Being a falang (foreigner) I have a big target on my back, especially to the police. They put up check points all over the place. Some cars they just let drive right through, me they always stop. They come up to my window, I hand them my Oregon Drivers License that expired in 2005 and 100bhat ( $3) tucked behind it. They look at it, even though they can't read it and hand it back to me.....minus the Baht.
Another item I forgot to mention and I don't know how it slipped my mind. In Thailand, having girl babies is a good thing. Sorry China ! So, the reasons why having a daughter is good. First and foremost, she will be someone to take care of you when you get old. When the depends need to be changed, they will be there. Also financially, they will take care of their parents. For this reason, most property goes to the daughters and not the sons. Another thing is that daughters can be a good investment and I do mean that literally. Traditionally European and early American women would have a dowry that the husband would get once they got married. Not so in Thailand ! Here the women basically get graded like cattle and the guy who wants to take the cow home has to pay accordingly. In Thai it's called a sin sot. A bride price to be paid to the parents. So if you have an educated and attractive daughter and your family is fairly well off, You are going to charge the groom a higher price to marry your daughter. If she's fat, stupid and ugly, you'd be lucky to get $100 for her. On the flip side though, about 5 years ago an Australian wanted to marry Miss Thailand. They had a relationship and he asked to marry her. The sin sot was $1,000,000 USD plus a new house for the parents. The Aussie paid it and I believe they are still married to this day.
I got lucky because both of Laila's parents are dead. So when we married I gave her sister a bunch of money, that she spreads around so that everyone could see that Laila was marrying a good ,wealthy falang !
Then after all the guest went home, she gave it back to me . Sweetness !
OK, now for an admission.....don't get you're hopes up, it's nothing juicy ! This blog is just a time killer. You will never find me writing it at home during the evenings or weekends. These are all written during my dead time at work..which is a considerable amount of time. So toady is Thursday, tomorrow I go to the US Embassy and on the weekend I won't write. Monday should be my next blog entry.
I promise to make it a bit more entertaining than this one was. I'll talk about some kinda whacked shit that happened to me over the weekend LOL !
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Instead of The Asian Way, maybe this should have been Diary of a Madman !
Well, today you will probably get a lot of incoherent ramblings of a cracker in a non-cracker world. I just happen to be in one of those "special" moods where I feel like kickin' someones ass. Alas ! I still have a shred of common sense though and would rather not spend any time in a foreign country.
Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE ! As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !! So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.
So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???
It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.
And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !" I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.
Well, sleep on that all.
Cya
Yesterday, is what set me off. As I was walking home, I crossed the street, in the crosswalk with the green walk signal. A car pulls up and starts edging into the crosswalk so he could go through the redlight. Right when I'm in front of his car, he pulls forward even more and almost hits me ! So I stop and say say WTF DUDE ! As I'm standing there ( still red light for him) he starts to blare his horn !! So now I slightly lose it and kinda put my fist into his hood. Yes it left a dent. HAHA ! He grabs his cell phone, I continue across the street, he goes through the red light and then pulls over. I walk to the bus stop, kinda pumping my fist cuz it hurts like hell actually, and the police show up. Yeah, oh shit. He comes walking towards me with the police and ranting something in Korean. I see him motioning a fist up and down and I know he is referring to what I did. They get to me and the two cops take turns asking me questions in Korean. I give them the stupid face. So next thing I know is that there is a large group of Koreans around and I'm playing a game of charades with the cops. Then my bus pulls up. I point at the bus and say "bye-bye." and just walk away and get on the bus. That's that. They didn't try to stop me or anything. I was pissed at the time, and I still am, But I can see the funnier side of the whole thing now. Morons.
So to continue on rants..Their gayitude knows no bounds. Don't get me wrong. Korea is VERY in the closet. About 95% of any gay is disowned and considered dead by their family. So they do all the gay stuff still, They just don't admit to it. Monday at the beginning of class, a bunch of students are going back and forth about something. Seems a wrestling match they had during break time turned a bit personal. So my Korean co-teacher has them demonstrate what happened in the front of the classroom. One of the boys lays down on his back and the other gets on top of him and pins his arms down with his knees. I'm thinking "ok, so what ?" Then the student say "no, no he did more!" When pressed about it, the student on top finally gives in and shows what he was doing. While he pinned the one boy to the ground, he then proceed to give the boy on his back a "reach-around ! " YEP ! Not hitting, not slapping, but stroking the other kids dick ! And in class, he didn't just mime it, he did it AGAIN ! I was like Oh my God. The co-teacher just starts to laugh, then he tells them to go sit back down. Dude, what was the point in having them do that again ???
It was pointed out to me by my friend Bill, that living over here must be "hysterical." I would say it is a far cry from that. I would never,EVER, recommend that someone takes a vacation to Seoul or Korea. It is an overcrowded, very ugly country. Everything looks the same here. All schools in the country are the same. They are required to be. They have to look like the Korean Army barracks. I have know idea why, but it makes for an assload of ugly schools. Korea has no room to expand outwards, so all they can do is build upwards. This is making for a very ugly skyline....or no skyline. Many Koreans don't even want Americans here. And other Asians that come here are only tolerated because they do the crap jobs for cheap. Kinda like America and the Illegal Mexicans. You don't really want them there, but who else is going to do the job ?
Korea is all about conformity, not individualism. All buildings are made of cement and basically painted the same drab color.
And another thing with addressing a person..If she is young, say 28 and under, you call her agashi - young girl, Ajumma- old woman, Ajoshi- uncle. These are all names you call strangers. On the bus, people call to the driver " Ajoshi !" I find a simple YO DUDE ! works also. "Hey baby" also works on all the women. But then again I could say " Hey you old slutty, no fashion sense,ugly, dog eating bitch" and that would work also. These are the times that it really pays off with them not knowing English !
So back to Bill saying it must be hysterical.....Well actually it depends on the type of personality you have. I do enjoy all the irony surrounding me as well as the absurdity of everything. Once I make it home each night, it does become very funny. Not to mention my writing style tends to lend itself towards the humorous.
Well, sleep on that all.
Cya
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